Priorities

When you come upon a certain age or maturity, especially after you make some real progress in life defeating self pity and enduring a sea of hardship from work, social and family expectations... You become rigid, often choosing the road most taken and on many occasion subjecting to just doing the common, nothing outside the box. The reason to protect yourself, you prioritize none other than yourself.

First priority; fortress and defense

Crucial to prevent hurt, abandonment and depression. It comes in many forms of expression, anti social. Speak less of the mind and heart while having coffee or drinks with another person. Controlled affections and gesture of appreciation. To top it up, remaining silence in any form of decisions that may alter life changing experiences or risk self from being vulnerable to hurt. The training to do that? Simply rejecting empathy. All in the name of self defense.

Second priority; values and added ones

The chance of opportunities and chasing after a better living depends on this judgement of value. Is it worth every single time I invest. We are talking business? Nope, I beg to differ. In any friendship or love or even merely acquaintances ... the society talks about value in return. What can this friend do? What can this friend give back? Those questions which dilutes the real normality or supposedly relationship between human kinds have even been blurred by technology. Today people ask of looks, vital stats and discovering affection over gadgets, Internet spaces and some building marriages over kingdom in the virtual gaming reality. When a divorce comes, I want your warlord castle and the farms it comes with it. To worsen things, people become calculative even of the feelings they shared, sacrificies they make and some record a log of activities rotating around friends, only a few hours between friend a and then friend b. Rightful? Values? I believe we have officially allowed ourselves to decrease whatever that comes with that definition ... and we actually prefer it that way.

Priority three ; never the three

Long gone the Neighbour principle. We probably know more of celebrities then actual neighbors. Some of us still believe in the Neighbour charms but most us let it get by. So what if the opposite Neighbour moved in and out a gazillion times, I never had to bake muffins as welcome gifts and certainly save the trouble of it when they leave. Ideologies forgotten that has encrypted our lifestyles. Things that even couple do that affects a third party must be held for order of living. Dump the dog, uncare the home and divide the friends are among priorities couples do when they split. Third party? Is there even a need for one?

Priority Four : time is of the Essence

So breaking up on email is fast easy and reliable. Working on weekends gives you shortcut to a promotion or year end bonus if you are lucky. What's apping a friend is cheaper than actual call and invitation for drinks! Not to mentioned forgoing trips and any other gathering because I need more time! The strategy to this is to maximize me time and really just let days passed unplanned for the future. By that I meant living routinely and when the time comes, it comes. So in a fast paced world, comes the fast paced self therefore everything else is speedy. Need of speed to get into a relationship and get out of it. Applies throughout ... Work , charity , political arena, visiting home and even smelling the roses can be done now by downloading a quick app. Time! Aging is forbidden

Priority five ; thou shall have explanations

And at the end all excuses. Procrastination and mislead is vital for this element to survive. All said and done has an agenda to it and thee shall accept it for thou is the conquering royalty. Simple term, ego boosting self inflicted recognition people exist in every nook and corner of the planet. These maskers hide their weakness and shower you with speech that encourages their stand and charisma. How to avoid them? Don't!!!! The more you know them, the better it is to tacklee such people. Where to find them? You will be surprise ... And I am sure you know where the answers are. People do it for a number of reason, mainly to protect their ass and that is closlely related to priority one. So the next time you feel hurt that someone is trying to justify himself or herself, just sulk it up and ramble it with your friends. Cos people like that will never learn to listen, accept humility and admit their wrong. When was the last time you said sorry? Or tweet about humility to another person? Yeap ... Go figure how come majority people status their dissatisfaction and have reasons to prove that they are right. Is it necessary?

And so I am feeling the strain blogging from binge. Talk about priorities when it comes to writing down a thought. Thou I used up 30min just to pin my thoughts down thru a phone. So don't mind the errors! Happy new year and may your priorities change

It's tuesday, and counting

Can't wait for tomorrow! I am finally going on leave. For one day. That said, it is better than none. Have to be positive since Mr Darling is constantly reminding me about my previous post and yes yes ... I should keep up to it. *Lifting eyebrow

I will be making my days worth, whatever that is left of 2010. It has not been exactly a bad year but the next few days could turns things around if I am not careful. So, one day at a time ... I shall bring my family on an outing tomorrow for half the day and spent the other half with Mr Watch! Then on Thursday, its work again, gym and meeting up with a prospective person to give me part time job. To think of juggling a full time job, part time job and MBA ... *lifting both eyebrows ... Thank you Mr Darling for the job recommendations! Friday would be hell but I think I am meeting MK for Disney Princess marathon or drinks nearby, whichever more convenient. Then meeting with Mr Cameraman on Sunday for another prospective part time income. Wah lah ... Its 2011 then ... :P

So many mister mister. Maybe I should be more creative at camouflaging my friends. After all, I am trying to squeeze my creative head more often. Hmmm ... Somehow I am not anonymous but they are, ironic rite?

Ok ... So ... I am at work now, trying to finish my stuff but at the same time constantly distracted by the peace and quiet surrounding. No one is working ... So be it ... I shall work in my slowest, most unproductive ever pace. Burnt out since last saturday and sunday ...

So ... I am up for lunch in a few minutes. Time to youtube for new music videos.

Beyond 2011

Today I spent some quality time with Mr Darling catching up about many aspects of life. Before I start, just for the sake of explanation ... Mr Darling is a close friend and not someone romatically related. I know you are reading this Mr Darling, happy? LOL

I would like to call him by that nickname because of his nature in always putting others before himself and how his pragmatic advise, support and moral assistance have always been enlightening ever since the day we met.

Mr Darling claims that I am very moody, or it is portrayed that way in my blog. To clear things out, perhaps I have been quite imbalance in the past often writing the negativity ramblings in my life, overshadowing the opposite which are the joy in my life. I guess it's just natural that I complain more than I compliment. In a different perspective, I talk alot about bad stuff rather than good stuff. Yeap! What a smack in my own face right?

That said, I believe I do post about my happy times too ~ like my Korea trip, friends outing and others. If we are talking about dwelling into the deep of my thoughts and emotional fortress (more like a barn filled with animals actually, think of Snow White) ... I believe often it is dark because I have a tendency to keep negativity buried inside. But Mr Darling is right, I must learn to overcome pessimism and have more confidence.

How?

1st lesson. To accept who I am and complain less? Yes ... must do that immediately.

So, let's channel some positive tone and after all, Christmas this year wasn't that bad! To begin with, I've received numerous wonderful gifts from colleagues and friends. I shall wait till 16th next month before showing off the gifts I received *snobbish pose* as my last xmas party is scheduled then. That said, I am actually happy, or safely said content with what I have achieved this year.

1. Completed 60% of my MBA studies without any failed subject so far. Let's keep the fingers crossed through out the course.
2. Met new friends and flourished some that became important companions in my life
3. Had a fair emotional ride as well as logical enlightenment
4. Worked my ass out for the company who seems to appreciate me to a certain degree, although I think otherwise
5. Spent quality and quantity time with my family
6. Equally dedicated myself to my religious view and exploration of new teachings
7. Discovered a new hobby and successfully learned new ones as well
8. Been blessed by god with positive, friendly, thoughtful and respectful acquaintances in aspect of personal, relative and work life
9. Learn the hardest lesson of all; accepting fact, finding solution and to stand up strong again while learning from mistakes - Binge this is for you!
10. Visited Korea with my loved ones

The list should continue but I think it would be bragging. Thus what lies for me in year 2011? Well, I have to say according to many horoscopes and "premonition claims", it would be a difficult year for me. I hereby say, bring it on. Challenges and the worse are yet to come ... so be it. I will learn to survive, hopefully with the support of my loved ones who walk the talk and been there for both my laughter and tears. You guys are the greatness I achieved. To be accurate, success will be better. lol

Well ... time to go feed my skin with vitamin e.

Xmas 2010

Wishing all my friends, acquaintances and readers ... a Merry Christmas

BBQ Xmas party 2010

I had lots of fun just a few hours back. Chilling with my VUMBA mates is always very funny and relax. Although at many times I have to hide my sexuality, somehow I enjoy myself very much in their company. Perhaps it is the idea that you get a fair bit mix of everything; male singles, female singles, married couples, soon to be married couples, just started couples, long term couples and to top it up, most of them know how to have fun! I strongly believe even due to our differences, we are all friends to keep

I wanted to blog about something more on a serious tone today, was thinking about the topic but when Masaki ran her car into mine. I had a total blackout and when the shock passed, so did the topic I wanted to blog about.



So here I am, putting up a picture of me pretending to be a reindeer.

Merry Xmas ... countdown

This song got me bouncing ...



I am having my law exam tomorrow and somehow I can't help but feel perky and all jumpy thanks to Mariah Carey's Oh Santa. Maybe it is true that I was really a black woman in my past life.

Anyway, I better update my wishlist since yesterday the babes have officiated our gift exchange ceremony. Don't wanna get duplicates. On the other hand, it will be a great challenge for me to shop for Xmas stuff. Although I dread the festive celebration, my friends are determined to make it a thoughtful one. So the celebration probably start tomorrow and will last to (going through his calender), 16th Jan!

*hearing Mariah's infamous squeal*

Time to go back to study, but before that ... need to slash the list. *Blink and hint to the babes

Grenade anyone?

My CIMB atm freak out

After the ATM failure to withdraw my cash and without a receipt, I really thought that tomorrow will be hell for me to convince the bank that I want my money back. Being in Pyramid around 10pm wasn't really gonna help as the banks are closed. Financial inconveniences are the worst!!!

*YELL*

So to speak, the customer service report and advise was to direct me to the nearest bank to lodge a report as early as 915am and probably sit to wait for the security investigation. I will have to be early to avoid both the crowd in the bank and the ATM lodge from gunnysacking from morning transactions.

Back home at last, I was preparing my mental note and defense tactics for tomorrow at the same time multitasking to check my balance online. I was login in the website to check the balance and my mind is ticking. Last I knew, the balance was deducted from a quick check from the opposite ATM. I was furious, worried and dread the day when the final amount total on the website showed at my computer screen after 2 hours of the ordeal, I grin with satisfaction. CIMB have credited my account. Indeed a technical issue.

All is well now. Smile. I have to say that CIMB service and performance is commendable!

How come we don't get efficient service like this elsewhere?

Korea 2010

Some may have seen the pics from facebook. Anyway, here is my contribution. I really have too many pictures, close to 400 plus and perhaps a little more if I didnt lose Binge. Here are some of the selected pics from my nikon ... that said, the moment lives on in memory! That is the beauty of traveling to an awesome place with your loved ones.

Enjoy ~

Arriving in a small town, Incheon Airport is quite a distant away from Seoul



Go Korea during winter, of course must do this ... Ski! Or at least play snowball war ... or to my parents, have hot coffee and enjoy the snow mountain and watch their children scream, yell, fall and cheer when they successfully ski from top to the bottom ...







You can even ski at night! Nice rite? But too tired and too cold!



So we went picture taking around the surrounding





The hotel also has a cafe where they shot Winter Sonata ... romantic la konon!



Then, next day we went to Dragon Peak where they are building a new 15degree 6km slide from the mountain top to the bottom. It takes about 10minutes ... planning to launch it probably only next winter, but the top is splendidly beautiful ... and freezing chilly (-6 degree I heard!)



Have to take cable car up!









And of course we went to Nami Island, where they shot romantic scene of Winter Sonata!











You probably know the famous shot below ... ! Betul cantik gila ... We played throwing autumn leaves too ... but I do not want to post a picture of me laughing like a kid playing with my Grandma throwing leaves onto me ... So go figure yourself :P



And we went to ... no introduction needed as the pic says it all ...







Not real ones, but real sizes ones!



Hey look! its mum ... Really? I must not dig my nose then ~

Went to fishing village near Mount Sorak, mum shopped for seaweed (the real wet kind ones!) and we dine ... grilled squid stuffed with fried rice ~ MOST YUMMY FRIED RICE I had EVER! probably also because its winter ...



and of course the Mount Sorak (or is it Sora?) park, where we learned about Buddhism, enjoy the culture historical walk and talk about Korean war. Not to mentioned, busy taking pictures too











Our group photo also taken here since there are heaps of place!


Then we visited Everland~ Themepark develop by Samsung! They have this huge roller coaster ride that is as big as a mountain but it was closed due to the cold winters. We had lots of fun riding many other attractions (ie the zoo and all la ... !) lazy to explain.







The night scenery was magical and very beautiful. It made us very very happy!!!



But I am sure if K were around, he would allow me to buy this. Cos it looks cute on me! But my parents were very against it ... sob sob

Then we were off to Seoul. Boring place, but had lots of shopping and visiting done. Some of the summary as follow:

Culture house where we made kimchi for Charity and manage to dress up as crazy wacko ancient Korean family! Mum is so hillarious ~ even dad


The Palace where the Korean King stayed, created today's Korean writing whose entire family was executed when Japan invaded.





Seoul Parliament, or is it the President office. Something like that la~



We watched Nanta show ... it was so fun! hehe



PS - and 2 shopping places (nothing much to talk about except that I bought stuff :P) and also this culture road where we had only 1 hour to shop and no time for camera. Also bought stuff! haha

Odusan Observation Tower - where we get to see across North Korea. It is so safe la! Please ... anyway, we were about 500m away from the border and can see North Korea guard towers. Cross the Han river and you are dead~ ping pang! haha



Dad scouting for bombs



Of course, my most beloved picture:



And thats the end of it... at least for year 2010 ...

Lawyer to be? Not ...

I have to say that it is so worth doing MBA, especially when it comes to Business Law. Although I do not get the usual dosage or dramatic storylines like CSI because we do not touch on Criminal Law, it is so interesting to have learn about the twirls and swirls of law, especially when it comes to business dealings.

I have to say that it is fairly important to know about what the law says, what it can do and what others can do to you. With just three chapters, Tort, Partnership and Company Law and all the variance with cases, precedent, legislature and also layman term, dos and don'ts - you fairly get the idea of how to defend yourselves legally against suit, possible risk of compensation or people seeking damages. It is pretty scary what people can and will do to you with that equipment of knowledge!!! Think consumer protection and compensation of insurance!

At least now I know the extend of how to legally bind and correction to protect myself. This involves going into promises for business or negotiations that may turn sour at the end. I find it so interesting that things that could be so wrong and can be right, or rightfully correct that can be miserably faulty at the end! It is really not that confusing really when you start flipping through pages of law books explaining the terms and clauses.

Well, I have been up since 10am writing law answers for cases, questions and test trials. Ever since then I have not stop reading, writing and listening to lecture on the law subjects. Even as soon as class ends at 8pm, I took only an hour break of dinner and since 9pm, I've been catching up on what I missed last week on partnership law. Since it's almost 1130pm and having law terminology behind my brains, I believe it is in reasonable standing that I retreat from this subject. Chubchub too had a nice chat with me on partnership and I believe he finds the subject intriguing.

I shall continue Company Law tomorrow and venture into director duties and its duly remedy if breach happens. Don't get me wrong, I am not a lawyer ... just the average guy who has interest in law

How do I make the world see me rather than what I am

The manifestation of depression revolve around expectations. Some say that by learning to let go or building a defense mechanism walling from risk of hurt helps. I think it makes sense. Learning has become a process so important that it alters lifestyles and ones' hope. No one seem to care about the real idea, so willingly often voluntarily believing that the greater good is always out there.

Let there be contentment.

In today's vivid and multifaceted society, we deal with people and maskers in our daily life. Constant pretending and often regretting acts which we cast upon others. But yet we still persist to do it, casting the shadow of guilt, seeking to hurt and seek damages as much as possible. To terrify the other party until he runs into the dark forest, trembling and drench in tears. Yet we all still do it all over again.

How come at the other side of the river, where the most pretentious couple strives to be better and greater, we suffer? Often we ask the question. Is that what we seek? Perfection to fit into ideologies of love and together-hood that we must learn to love that only way and not accepting the other person?

I have told many, repetition that one should want to be with you and not just desperate to be in a relationship. So how will you know when it comes? Does the story unfold itself yet disappear from discovery as soon as one lands the kiss. Curses, immunity and blindness. Different scripts, different ending, different souls. And yet encouragement and determination to build this protective sphere still exist? If so, how do you then allow yourself to be vulnerable and protected?

I want the stop sign. I do not wish to grow into my 30s wishing that my maturity, achievement and lifestyle is more dominant than the rest, persisting that I did more than I had and the world agrees to me. I want to be vulnerable, to be able to feel that I have hurt and been hurt. I want to feel that I can continuously do more and grow herein and hereafter. I seek the journey of suffering in twos rather than sulking in lone.

The balance I seek, does it still exist?

So often I wonder if the idea is to set boundaries then I will never be that way. Am I walking down that path? I certainly hope not ... and certainly hope my other half is not and will not and never will too ...

Hello again

and so a week passed by in Korea. I am back, safely ... and to be honest, it was really an awesome great trip! I bet most of you think that I would be blogging about it, but looking at my work inbox and the list of stuff to do ... I probably will not be able to write it in these few days. With law exam coming up and a whole lots of personal issue coming up ... life is back on being stressful and all. I just can't wait for August to come! That's about it

Pre-Korea

The day has finally arrive. In less than 12 hours, my entirely family will be awake and moving our luggage into the minivan. Our trip to Seoul is coming to realization and with the major burp of shells and nuts lately (aka-tension) with North Korea and South Korea in the past few days - we are still going! Cheerios!!

Reassurances given by the embassy, agent and also friends who are in the travel tourism industry that is it still safe to travel and experience Korea! Notice the word used, still but not absolutely. So if this is my last post, I love you guys eh! Keep it alive *showing hipster's peace sigh*

The past few days has been nothing but friends all asking me to reconsider the trip. We have people telling us to postpone, people who research through CNN and updates us on news, friends' dad who had spoken to their son's bf for reassurances, people who are bluntly funny , colleagues who are just repeating themselves and all. It was nice to know that many people cared and actually show gesture to ensure that we are making the "right" choice.

Some has a more unique way of showing appreciation. I gotten both a "safety amulet“ (one from 大姐 - christian blessings and one from Purple Diva - Allah blessing) from close friends and of course even this :



Yeap - daily multiple vitamin dosage for my weak immune system. Cute right? Thank you Mr Watch for this well thought gift - your the best! Chubchub and MK actually dine Korean with me even to get me into the mood too ~ haha

Well, that said - I am all packed up and ready to go. With both clothes to layer and the anticipation to a plentiful to shop experience in Korea, I am dying to get my hands on a leather glove as soon as I land. I heard rumours that they are on winter sale already! *Evin grin counting the cash*

So ... I shall most likely blog when I am there then - provided no nukes happened before I land ... CHOI CHOI CHOI

Binge new clothes

It's amazing how the iPhone actually creates new market from it's existing hype. It is as if the phone is design to be fragile so companies like this one, particularly called Speck can actually reap profit from post iPhone spending! I am not complaining thou bcos Binge likes fashion a lot and she has been warning me about my carelessness in dropping things.

Yeap, MK and Chubchub, formerly know as caffeine sunshinebear has also been telling me that better to pay rm100 for a good wardrobe function for Binge, than have her ended up in the Hospital because apparent there are no insurance coverage for her. How obscene right?!

Thus, Binge is now officially wearing this


Darkest Tartan plaid from Speck ... yeap, Binge likes something that looks like Burberry too :p

Ne-Yo - One in a million

I love the way he dance and I want to learn it! Bad!



and fine ... I am impress with someone. Yes i do. There may no be any dance and singing but so far it definitely feels like one in a million

The long wait ...

Count down, in exact 9 days ... I will be dressing up and all perked up to travel north. Some of you may already know whereabouts my family and I are traveling to. I believe this is the first trip ever my entire family is going overseas together since year 1997. As a family, we have went through a lot in the past years; overcoming poverty, learning to grow and accustom to differences among family members, resolving family conflicts and arguments, surviving a wretched accident for my dad, my mum braving through uncertainty of illness, sister in workforce and me sleeping with a broken heart nightly.

Most of us in the family has brave through the sea of thorns, accusations, gossips and even given in to bear responsibilities no normal families would do. Ranging from caring for elderly and adoption.

For me, the greatest lesson learn was to learn to try and let by gone be by gone with my dad. Our relationship fluctuates like stock market nowadays. But on most occasion, we always end up draw and do our best not to look each other in the eye when we argue. Things are definitely better.

So, the trip meant a lot to everyone in the family. My sister is taking it as a session to further strengthen her bond with her boyfriend. My younger sister is taking it as a vacation overdue and to finally walk the streets of K-pop as a fan. My mum is considering it as a dream come true for her to finally visiting Korea, one of her must-visit-places with her own mother, my grandma. My grandma is taking the trip as a time to unwind and to escape the family problems happening back in hometown. My dad takes it as his first time oversea outing with my mum since 18 years ago. And for me, It is important because Korea is probably one of the most crucial thing in my heart to visit the place and experience a whole new different culture with my loved ones.

Although there were small hiccups like my grandma's complication in visa application, sister's bf may not be able to take leave and K's last minute cancellation that may end up stranding me sharing a bedroom with a total stranger! But it seems like all is going well when Grandma got her application approved, sister's bf will be holding her arm when skiing later and I am going to be sharing a room with a friend instead.

Things are going well. I know it will ... thus, I will treasure this outing ...

Say hello to ...

Binge! (the e is silent anyway). Yeap, I usually name all my beloved stuff. As of now, I have babe (my D80 Nikon camera), Boo (My Polaroid camera) and Binge ... my first ever Mac product. I mean, first hand Mac and absolutely bought from my own wallet. Also, my first EXP phone man!

I still find the phone expensive, after all tech stuff should be cheaper nowadays. I remember getting the E71 and think it was absurd to pay RM1.5k for a phone but back then, I really wanted to see the receiver of the phone smile ... yeap, the mobile I been using for the past 2 years is not exactly mine. Hehe

The sense of achievement is there but something is missing ... anyway, never mind that!



So ... Binge is not exactly in the box. She is out of her shell sitting next to me ... smiling. Asking me to caress my fingers on her retina screen. By the way, all my beloved are females ya ... Binge is exceptionally beautiful. Think of Gisele Bundchen ...

Well ... a piece of advise for those who want to adopt and enlarge Binge's population, especially when you are getting it from the Maxis adoption center ... You got to prepare to wake up real early, strategically pick your weekday and location, and still have to spend more than half a day waiting. Details?

Maxis only release 50 units a day. I was lucky number 44 (the last 16gb) and the rest is 32gb. Then you gotta wait for them to photocopy and port your number (which takes an hour or so) and the long wait to purchase the device (which takes about 25 minutes average per phone) ... and then que to get your sim card sliced... and then usually people walk out with a dark, gloomy face ...

Let's do this the MBA style

25 minutes x 40 = 1000 minutes divide by 3 operating counter = 333 min = 5 hours, and to factor in other purchases like blackberry, nokia whose counter is shared with the iPhone ... bla bla bla ... ok ... in simple conclusion, I was there from 830am and only manage to get Binge at 430pm.

How did I survive?

I work in KLCC Aquaria remember? So I basically took a number, estimate the average wait and was there only about the end. If you have nothing to do, go waste time crowding the Maxis store. Or else, get ready with picnic basket, watering thumbler and a lot of entertainment. I strongly suggest catching up on drama series!

Ok, Binge is making noise. I gotta go entertain her! Tee hehehe

From S4 of DHW

I am emotional. I understand and I accept. But how come I am so affected by some characters in drama series. Gosh, I at least teared up a few times over some housewives. I think I do take certain things in life quite seriously. After all, being comical isn't quite my everyday job and requirement.

I learned today that sometimes, expectations can be crushed in mere seconds and that life's offerings is filled with choices one have to make. You cry over things but you move on. You move on to things that are worth living for. You move on to things that you want to create to be called colorful history.

That line made me teared up.

I cannot believe by watching drama series, you actually learn philosophy in life. Good ol to the script writers!

Perfect remorse

I am so touched, eyes teary and breathing through my soul ... so emotionally wretched due to this line

" Don't run away, but if you do ... please take me with you"

Why? How?

What ?

There are just so many things I want to write about. Right now, I just do not know what I want to write. It could be my recent singapore trip, but that would be the same ramblings about work which I should stop complaining about. Then there is the funny incident of getting con, which is like told a billion times where I am sick of saying anything about it. Of course, there is the side dish to my life - MBA, utterly boring to pen down.

Friends? Want to avoid gossips. Family? Nothing much happening except the fact that my sister look stunning today in a night gown. Bareback till can see her buttock line and F*** HER (with envious tone) looking good in an hour-glass body dress. My dog? Literally the same ol notti stuff. Gym? Haven't been there in ages! My insomnia? Half solved with the expensive bed and the other half is what I am experiencing now.

Food? Haven't got the chance to taste it. Travel? No money. New gadget? No money. Movies? Had marathon last week, wanna skip it this week. Music? Nothing much except that fireworks and just the way you are keep playing in my head.

Love? Still as complicated when it should have been easy. Fashion? No comment except that I have officially ban Uni Qlo in my wardrobe.

So what to write about? Sigh ... maybe I should go for a walk since I can't sleep but I am craving for this dish ...



URGH*~!!!

Tik Tok, Sunset

@ Landmark Village Hotel, Bugis

It is funny how sometimes the past comes back to you like Dejavu. Quick, ruthless and directly smack at your face.

Standing at the 11th floor, looking out the window, thinking that so much has changed in the past months made me somehow feel quite fragile. Or am I always like that? That figures!

While Eagle is out with his friends, I am in the room - listening to Sarah's Angel and realize that the waiting is quite lonely and staring myself in the mirror, sort of made me feel a bit weird. Admiration of disgust? The sun is setting and on the view I am looking at, fairly tranquil for a city filled with movements. Just like how I anticipate that there will be more people moving around, it never happened. I can never really change how he feels no matter how hard I try.

How come it is so hard to show that vulnerability and weakness?

For once, I wish there was a lightning bolt that strikes, striking me blind and awakening thereafter just to be muted and deafen by the thunder. I just want to numb my senses. How can I be so silly to let it all pass, to think that my spent nights are just reminisce of looking into the past. How can I let myself go?

Hmm ... I am not emotional. Just thoughts, stacking into pieces and finally having the drums rolled. I really want it to stop spinning! No standing ovations.

Can he undone it? Can he really? Just want him to bust through the door and sweep me away to stay.

Who doesnt want that rite?

And so suddenly the mood changed. Katy Perry's I kissed a girl is playing now. Potong stim. Time to go out dinner alone

My Diwali weekend

I haven't had so much peace and quiet for the weekend. Never mind the constant fireworks during last friday's Diwali celebration and the occasions echoes from post fireworks in a distant, it was still a serene weekend for me.

As soon as work ended (yes I had to work on a public holiday!), I had literally spend my weekend with very important friends in my life. They reminded me of the little things in life that matters, that quality time that no other can replace and definitely one I can just be my very own self.

It was a weekend of movies I would say! I watched Clash of the Titans, Shutter Island and The Blind Side. Not straight in a row but on different days with different friends. I have to say that The Blind Side is such a great movie and Sandra Bullock really awesomely made the character possible. It felt so real, so comical and at a certain point, I wish my own mum had that trait. I know! I shouldn't have ...

Shutter Island was mind blowing. I do not know why people think the movie was bullshit. I think even at the end, it is still mind blowing! If you think that Inception is mind bobbling ... this is worse I tell you!

Then came the 48hours movie making independent screenings that both pretentious bitch and I attended to lend our support to Purple Diva. Her film noir was commendable and the only missing element was dark shadows. Of course, with only 48 hours to make a short film, inclusive of script writing, shooting and editing ... IT WAS DAMN WELL A GOOD MOVIE.

Movies was not the only thing I did. I literally stayed home and cook! Yeap, spend some time lazing around, did some charity work and spent quality time with friends. It was a quiet weekend. A weekend well spent! A weekend where I ate my sins away and erm ... had ice cream every single day ... Hehe ... Big hugs to my friends who made it all possible - indulgence, tranquility and memorable



Although things went a bit unexpected on Mr Watch side, I hope his planned vacation will still go on.

As for me, time to be "Ferdinand the bull" in Singapore!

Katy Perry - Fireworks

Absolutely love the song and MV. I am deeply affected by the video - felt a blanket of comfort and hope but yet a tingle of uncertainty. Here's the video

La Source - Crabtree & Evelyn

Headache, stress and constant wandering mind ... inevitable at work. I truly, sincerely and positively accept that fact. I guess I never could have know that the best thing about living life to the fullest is the balance. With every ramble, one must learn to be direct. With every insult, comes a compliment. With every tiring moment, one must learn to re-energize. Matter of finding that balance rite?

Thus, I look forward to home tonight after setting up the trade show for work...



What a way to relax after an OT! Hehe

My most first month

October is ending. Before I start my post - Happy Halloween to all my readers! May your dress up this year spook more luck for the coming year. Haha, typical chinese wish.

Anyway, I have to say that October has been a lot of "first" for me;
1. It is the first time I am paying utilities bills (mostly transfered to my name) like Unifi, Phone, Mobile and so forth
2. It is also the first time I manage to save the exact money I set as my target
3. Indirectly, it becomes the first time ever I never really buy or shop anything for myself
4. It is the first time I allow, accept and expose my vulnerability to an outsider
5. It is the month of many emotional turmoils, SUDDEN up and downs - and first time I handle them quite well
6. It is the first time I fell sick consequently on 2 mondays in a row ... Not coincidence ok!
7. It is the first time I play dirty at politics at work
8. Definitely my first month I force myself to gym frequently
9. First time I bought my sister something really expensive
10. First time I tried a new DSLR camera technology and fell in love with it
11. First time I got bunked out of a confirmed commercial due to acting
12. First time my MBA group got so much of interaction, feedback, applause and laughters from audience
13. First time I felt like I was a fallen Superman
14. First time I did free-style swimming successfully for a rep in the pool!
15. The month I kindly rejected 2 dates
16. The first time I only ate 3 plates of food for buffet
17. The first time I put on 2 kg in just 3 weeks
18. First time I wore my dad's shoe ... why? Look at the pic below!
19. First time ever I am changing my 14years old bed (my current bed lived with me since I was 6!)
20. The first time I realise there are so many first time for a particular month!!!

Sadly, it would have been my also first Halloween celebration but due to work, study and arrangements to oblige, I guess there is always next year. November, here I come!

MY DAD HAS A DAMN NICE PUMA SHOE!!! He bought himself one summore... I cannot accept lo! Anyway, I wore it out for dinner already. Haha