Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Tik Tok, Sunset

@ Landmark Village Hotel, Bugis

It is funny how sometimes the past comes back to you like Dejavu. Quick, ruthless and directly smack at your face.

Standing at the 11th floor, looking out the window, thinking that so much has changed in the past months made me somehow feel quite fragile. Or am I always like that? That figures!

While Eagle is out with his friends, I am in the room - listening to Sarah's Angel and realize that the waiting is quite lonely and staring myself in the mirror, sort of made me feel a bit weird. Admiration of disgust? The sun is setting and on the view I am looking at, fairly tranquil for a city filled with movements. Just like how I anticipate that there will be more people moving around, it never happened. I can never really change how he feels no matter how hard I try.

How come it is so hard to show that vulnerability and weakness?

For once, I wish there was a lightning bolt that strikes, striking me blind and awakening thereafter just to be muted and deafen by the thunder. I just want to numb my senses. How can I be so silly to let it all pass, to think that my spent nights are just reminisce of looking into the past. How can I let myself go?

Hmm ... I am not emotional. Just thoughts, stacking into pieces and finally having the drums rolled. I really want it to stop spinning! No standing ovations.

Can he undone it? Can he really? Just want him to bust through the door and sweep me away to stay.

Who doesnt want that rite?

And so suddenly the mood changed. Katy Perry's I kissed a girl is playing now. Potong stim. Time to go out dinner alone

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