I am finally back home, safe and sound. The past few days in Singapore has been a very different and difficult experience for me. I was even afraid to blog about it!!!
I felt as if some bad evil spirit was next to me, watching and trailing me. I've always been a superstitious person and having such encounters are quite normal to me, as long as they come and go quickly. But this time around, I was vulnerable. Arriving with half a head (the other was shut down by huge dosage of Paracetamol), blurry vision, emotionally detached and also some weird bodyache - I dread the work appointments ahead.
Fortunately, some clients postpone the scheduled meetings and it was a good opportunity for me to quickly recover by resting! That is good news rite? Unfortunately, I could not even properly sleep. Alternately for every 2-3 hours, I will be awaken by either - excessive sweat, cold temperature due to air-cond, continuous coughing, noises from other hotel tenants, water pump sounds and so. This happened either during day nap ... or night sleep.
I moved hotel the second day and it was better, the noise were less. But the excessive sweat, cold temperature and feeling that some other nosy thing was just around the corner nearly killed me. At times, I felt something lurking behind while I sleep, and constantly disturbing my dreams. I am not even sure if that is real or me, being paranoia! I only know I feel very depress, irritated, stressed out tired and lonely, and wanted in such a "dirty" way! Although that "lil" thing soon disappear, traces of it kept me insane ... often waking up with that self-inflicted fearful feeling.
As my thoughts wondered, still in bed coughing my lungs out and sneezing my nose out, someone buzzed from Msia. Someone who knew I was ill, checked frequently on me often reminding me that I am still alive and need to stay strong. Things are so different now. His thoughts and gesture encouraged me to continuously brave through the small room, day and night sickness mixing with work appointments. Then with my SG staff support and Erwin Ko, I was able to leave SG and come back in one piece.
I know this is weird, but I felt I went through some dark demonical places and finally back in one piece. I really thought my soul would leave me and literally shut down, fainting in reality. The major head swings, inability to breath, sweating in cold temperatures, body ache, stress ... GOSH! ENOUGH ALREADY!
Now, I need to flush all the medications I took to keep me going in Spore. Need to rejuvenate and recover the natural way. But seriously, thank you guys for making it count ... for caring