Graduate finally!

It has been raining and raining and raining. The pour is so scary and sudden sometimes. I always wonder that this is the best season to don a burberry trenchcoat and boots out. It would be so glam! But well, it is still not practical. So instead of that, I took out my water proof jacket and met the boys to plan for our upcoming trip.

It is amazing how time flies. I still remember the times all three of us sat at cafe talking about where to go, what to do and how we are going to be like the best of friends forever. Honestly, our friendship had grew so much but soon, it may be put to test. This trip would mark our first step.

That said, I am also quite happy on a few occasion. One is that I finally graduate from my MBA course. YAHOO! With my final result out yesterday while I was planning my first investment, or commitment to per say ... I had to treat myself. I mean, come on ... I was quite a far and was not exactly with any vicinity of a friend to celebrate with, so I bought myself ice-cream ... and vain-fully took a picture of myself to show you guys ...

Of course while meeting the boys earlier tonight, I blackmailed them (in a fun way) to get me cakes and drinks before announcing the good news to them. Lol ... no wonder lil pixie call me the drama one. Just a post-grad course finale but I have to blow it out of portion. What to do? Happy ma!

I cannot help but feel a sense of achievement. I mean, after CRASH COURSE and literally almost crashing myself in between MBA and life for the two years, to-top it all considering to take a bold step for my career and not to mention the fact that I had inspired some very important people in the past months had made me feel that I am beginning to get my life back together, seriously like BACK TOGETHER. About time right?

The recent consideration and support in my next first step of actually owning an asset way before my intended time frame, will also mark another milestone in my ever so complex life. I seriously hope and wish that I am (or will be?) making the right decision. For once, my dad and I actually had proper conversations and sharing of thoughts, ideas and suggestions. Even mum was surprisingly smiling at both of us. I think the last time daddy and son both seriously talked was back in school when I was deciding to do science or arts in year 2000. Definitely a decade figure has passed.

Looking forward now, I will be so packed up till 10th. Don't even want to know what is up after the 10th ... So much to do, so little time. Raise your glass eh!

Not the last post thanks to work

So it is not my last post, and that is such a disappointment. It will be for my boss who currently have to deal with the liquidation process in Spore. Being a non-sporean, I can only help this much and while I sit you blogging. There is this other staff who is sleeping. Yeap, we are running a dead-ghostly garage sale. Although there were promotion and advertisement done, to be honest - we are not going anywhere. Just sitting, waiting and wasting time

Now, I have to open up my brain and try to squeeze some suggestion into point format, hoping that he will be able to handle the large amount of sitting stocks, equipments and furnitures in the near future. Seriously, that's the best I can do.

I really have nothing to write but just wanted to do something. You know, to kill the boredom. I wonder what is happening back in KL. I think this thought and question will rise more often then ever.

Picture Trail Oct

I think this may be my last post for the month of October. Realize my blog pale in comparison with some other writers ... maybe I should migrate it to Thumblr ? Is that how you spell that new "in" place to blog?

Anyway, just to cheer thing up a lil in my plain ol sphere of thoughts. Here are some random pictures ...

Not bad eh? Maybe I should do more often of this picture trail thinge.

Last post for Oct?

I think the month is coming to an end. Oh, it is the end. October has been definitely a pass through month. Honestly, I don't even remember what I did in the past month. Only regret skipping that much of gym, losing unnecessary weight looking thinner and probably the only thing worth remembering is Trixie and Ryan's wedding.

And so I was looking back the past few weeks and wonder, how life had intertwined with decision making and coping with the possibility of losing a close friend. The ironic part is that sometimes I felt I lost myself within time and space. It is as if a kind of drug is taking over. Worrisome, no doubt but manageable.

So the usual rambles aside, I just am happy that the next two weeks will be dedicated to my close friends, buddies who are really just next door all the time. My turn to show appreciation to the great souls that has been around. Right now, I am just gonna go with the flow. No frills, no expectations.

Time will tell

So back to playing with Bonge. Hehe ... yeap, got a new gadget to play with ... Not gonna slash my wish list since it's NOT a substitute. Just need a better organizer for my up-coming tight schedule life!

Bonge ... and Binge, lighted up so happy he got a new friend to sleep with at night

Dark Side

Dark Side made me cry. This song came a little too late ... but it is good ... it is really good. Someone will get this piece of art as a gift from me. A parting gift ...

So I've made the third decision already. Now I am going to just make the best out of it. Weird that after this ordeal, the strength in me shattered ... into pieced, into dust. I guess that's the balance in life. When you stand tall to make decisions, you gotta leave with the other side - effect and affect.

Well, I am going to sink my head into the pillow and just slip away.

This ones for you my dear superheroes

The past few days has been hazzy. Life is about making decisions, living to it and making the best out of it. I don't know how I instill such positive behavior and sometimes shocked at myself but well, I have the people around me to thank.

I am about to make the third most important decision in my life. I clearly remember the first two.

One - to continue my study in Australia when my relationship then was still quite fresh and vulnerable to risk. Never regret it cos I've grown so much from it and the experience that comes after that made me a better person

Two - to risk separation and see how far we would go. Kinda regret it because it haunts me everyday to see that it wasn't that solid after all to begin with, but making the most of it for now.

Three - a decision to be made tomorrow. I do not want to reveal about it but lets keep tabs shall we?

A lot people have been supportive in the cross road of my life. I guess it is a blessing in disguise to have inspirational and strong people around you. There are those who logically reminds you of the right thing to do in long term for short term sacrifices, there are those who unconditionally support and love you quietly even thought it aches them to see you go the other way, there are those who becomes inspirational enlightenment in darker days braving strong each day without fear and weakness, there are those subtly sing each words filling your soul for courage and revelation, there are those who live to just be by your side even though they have alternative life-hood, there are those who quietly wishes you the best, thinking about you everyday even when they are not around, then there are those who walk the talk and live their life setting examples for you, there are those who loudly proclaim their support in your shadows and there are those who you have never met but had them constantly responding to your qualms in viral networks.

To those who had made it possible ... you would not believe how much you have meant in every single way. Life is tough, but you guys (and girls) are tougher in every way. It is because of people like you that strong leaders, soulful singers, great companions, beautiful lovers, sincere friends and undeniably courageous individuals are frame to swim through this sea of thorns. So let's all stay that way ya? Sounds like preaching, but together - I guess we are like the forces of superheroes ... saving each day at a time. I should strike a pose now eh?

That said, I wonder when is Wonderwoman the movie is releasing. I really hope the movie showcases a hot, well built woman in super tight hotpants (or is it panty?) to play the role. Please let it be someone with Beyonce's hip, Catherine Z Jones's look and Charlize Theron's acting. Miss seeing chick butt kickboxing action movies.

To the angel from Austin, and friend from next door

Am already playing the tracks from the new album. It feels as if the album talks to me. The lyrics and song selection are actually very good and quite addictive. You definitely can belt it out anytime of the day and feel good after that. A mode of releasing it all out is to scream, yell and blast it all out - really - it does feel good after that. Not to mention, the album is an inspiration one.

Anyway, I am just awed over the fact that my blog was actually inspiration to quite a few people, people that I look up to. So that's a huge honor! Almost teary saying it. Gosh.... I never thought that my thoughts, mostly ramblings could be so influential. For that I am thankful and will continue to write although sometimes I am really just blank with pages. Hopefully I will never bore or kinda scare you guys away. Really appreciate your support and reading, means a lot to my funny-named blog. Ta for now and thank you so much KBC and ECH for the belated birthday gift. It will be a tune I will always remember no matter "where" I am

Hugs Kisses

ps - For a tired soul to replenish with care and love from a friend who care for you.

Beyonce - Love on Top

Oooo .... I love the video ... Sayang Beyonce balik

New trial

It has been a very interesting 3 days. Interesting how when you least expect something to happen, it happens. After all, life is filled with surprises and you never know what is coming next.

Just a few days back, I met someone - a total stranger but shared so much similarities in life. There were definitely chemistry in both our communication and greetings. I would like to think that our friendship has something interesting but there is always the fear. Fear of things getting out of hand. Fear of any possibilities that could only result in void and waste. The same fear I fear that of when you look into someone's eye knowing that you can give everything you have only to have it returned empty. Worst, knowing that it can never go anywhere.

So after relating stories about his life and background, family and kids ... I begin to wonder how life would be if I would to pull the plug and switch sides. A question and taboo only to be scrutinize by friends and loved ones even before any disclaimers are made. Seeing my best friend getting married and also soon my sister, I am starting to feel that perhaps I would like to challenge and submit to the bigger picture. Will I be in denial or will it be a brand new chapter? I will never know

Those who claimed that they know me aren't really showing that they do. Those who doesn't sometimes seems more to be on the right track. As he continues talking about sticking to choices, responsible over decisions made and subjecting oneself to new commitments seems a little far fetched for the weakly disciplinary life of homosexuals. Everything changes when you are not bounded by law (or lamely put - contract) and to be absence in societal expectations sometimes allow you room to even fall out and foul play. Clear and good examples of life in the rainbow world. After all, nobody guarantee any form of bonds in either world. And to make matter worst, it seems more superficial in certain side.

Thus I question, is it worth burying a past trial for a deemed future? Either way, both futures are untold if undiscovered. To be fair, I need to start to explore and compare. Aren't self deceit and affirmation already existing in both opposite sides of life? Then, there is a 50-50 chance! I sometimes and still wonder ... how it all ends or can turn up. Will I detest and trial life to avoid the regret stare some have given me? Will I be able to see friends in any similar way and will they too do the same? Will it merely by cherishing love in the next generation for the sake of continuum in bloodline rather than familial institution.

Refreshing the times we both stood at the stairways and looking into the skies, almost lip locking only to have the door on lower ground startled us was a sign. Possibilities.

Just too much on the plate right now. But I think I am going to try to be fair to myself. Cannot be hoping any longer ...

Someone like me

I read about Ryan's blog just a few minutes ago and since I am companying my mum in the living room, she is wide awake waiting for her meds to kick in - vomiting due to gastric, I decided to spent the next few minutes to copy Ryan's post on disclosing stuff about myself. Not sure if I can do this as well as him, but no harm trying

I grew up fantasizing about mutants, specifically the X-men. Always believed that mutants exist and secretly hope one day I can jolt someone with my electric ball. Till today, I will swipe my hand to "open" the sensory sliding glass doors at shopping mall and secretly counting the traffic light and lift my hands towards it whenever it is gonna turn green just to pretend that I have powers. I am a guy who lives in his fantasy realm.

That said, I never understood why people see me as a comic joker sometimes. As much as I am happy go lucky, there are a number of people who will see me as complicated, complex or even cocky. Some see me as a person who worry and find trouble, some see me as carefree and troubless. To be frank, I am only human. I do feel both ways and on many occasion, wish that people could see my vulnerable side.

So yes I am emotional because I am a Leo. And yes to the fact to that I still think I am a boy although I had change the way I see myself after my 26th birthday. In comparison, I am definitely someone who stresses on success. Ever since young, my family is below average both income earnings (which translate to stability and growth for spending) and education (none in my family - before me graduated from Uni before). With my weak english command 7 years ago, I have push myself hard enough in the past years to improve not only my english but mentality in dealing with conflict as well as graduating recently with an MBA. All to sharpen my own skills and then found a new interest ... in learning

So I am taking up a sport soon which is most likely Tennis since my first choice of wakeboarding is too expensive. I do have expensive hobbies and taste, which is a proven track record in my history of shopping, selecting partner (not like as if I have more than two) and also interest. My favourite fashion brand is no doubt Burberry and Prada. I do have a fetish for formal wear and accessories. I find that a man's jewelry is no doubt the watch and diamonds are always man's best friend too if wore and used correctly. Subtle and Vintage is in my dictionary for fashion and Noah Mills is my all time favourite model. That said, I hardly use perfume and my last count - I had 30 shirts, 14 slacks, 42 polo tees, 13 jeans and 4 khakis. I rather not count my t-shirts.

On the contrary, I am gadget bonkers. Do not know the difference between cables, power adapters and any techky stuff. That is because both my EX and best friend are Tech people. So I rest on my laurels. Spare me the look, but because I like expensive stuff ... I tend to be more aesthetic than practical, something I deemed important. To make matter worst, I do not have FB but I do have a tweeter and blog account. I do have both Mac and PC but somehow never an ipod. I do have an iphone which I talk to everyday because I love it but never ever que for anything ... that includes food.

My favourite food are usually cooked and fragrant. Although often switched about, the ranks are quite consistent with most-least : Korean, Malay, Thai, Indian, Spanish, Italian and Japanese. I do not eat strawberries, beef and only recently begin to taste duck meat after Beijing trip. Am extremely into Pork. Tea person, Juice over Coffee and usually will snack peanut butter sandwich before I sleep. A hot mug of milo always makes me smile

I cannot sleep with an empty stomach and extremely shy if there is an absence of aircond because I sweat easily. Had wet a number of beds and feel extremely embarrassed about it when I overnight at friend's place. I usually weep quietly and hate myself for doing so by quietly sitting at the corner of the bed, waiting for the sheets to dry. Since I occasionally have severe short-term insomnia, I am used to being zombified for the next day. But I try to avoid that as I am quite hyper and lack of sleep only will force fatigue to hit me harder the next day. So, I tend to shower before I sleep and love a bathroom with rainshower and human massage. :-)

I stop smoking because I kept a promise to a person and I started drinking more than usual these days. I do not adore beer and prefer whites over reds. I like dancing and will try to end up in the club more often but a quiet jazz night or live band is always welcome in between weeks. I contrast myself very much. I grew up with Disney Cartoons and am still a big fan over them. I love ruthless bloody game where screen are splattered with blood. Contrast.

I really do not know what else to write but that I am a person probably with very interesting lifestyle and friends. I am a mummy's boy and somehow, I like that. My mum is definitely my idol and hero! So I think I am going to like to be someone's boy one day. Loved and Spoiled they said. Till then, I am going to eat my peanut butter sandwich alone and crossing fingers that one day I get to make two slice, one for me ... one for the other

ps - happy 700th post?