Day of inconvenience

And so the title says a lot. Found out many hidden agenda and how insufficient, unprofessional and stupidly-daring some people can be but I cannot say much because duely, it is still work. I guess different people work differently.

To add on, I feel like Superman. It's damn a tiring job when you have no sidekick, super human powers and the recognition a hero deserves. To make things more complicated, I read a tweet which follows the line "if you are the smartest in the group, time to change the group". Somehow, this is quite sad to hear ... definitely brought my mood down. So, busy and tired has become my common reply for how do you do nowadays.

Guess life moves on anyway ~

Well the highlight of today's post would be Sister's birthday dinner celebration earlier. Bought her a new purse and hopefully she likes it better than me but I am sure she will, after all ... it is branded, expensive and genuine! I hope she will now dump her fake LV purse into the dustbin! Haha



and so we were crazy over the sate lilit @ Ole Ole Bali!



We ordered all different dishes and shared it out. Mum's idea and since she was treating - we ordered away!



and of course ...

I got myself a gift too! Haha ... Konon la ... adik burfday dapat gift ... I pun mahu! I kan spoiled!



Murah kan! Always wanted to watch the DVD ... and now ... Boleh!

My poetic Tuesday

And so it begin, sleeping at the other side was a relief
Impossible it may seems, the three letter word lingers in my mind
It was a long time, quite sometime it has been
Said with sincerity, virtue of promises
And so it was warned, I dreamt that dream

Awaken with the grey sky, looking through my sleepy eyes
A figure move abouts, is that what I seek to every morning?
I fell asleep again, hoping it was falsity I am living
Bath and neck beckons the wishful thoughts

My mind was blank as the road were clear
I entered work later but made the best of it
Absent minded, I lost track of time
Absent minded, a planned activity was canceled
Ignorance hits
Slacking through the plains at work

The mood swings are more apparent
With ugly paintings, you expected applause?
I cynically insult, begging to differ
Frightening and fragile, vulnerable to fouls
I think about the sweetest escape
An intrusion of past and present
I ask, where thy's future then?

Sun dawn,
Lurking from roads, avoiding crawl
I should have taken the straight road back
Why do I reminisce yesterday's journey
The tree and roads that was lost in years,
Revisited but missing and had returned
Was it a sign? Was it a warning? Was is just coincident?

A broken heart controlled disruptions
Unfair to hurt those who are innocent
I continue to sink into a corner
Better? Yes thank you
The night flew quickly with drawings and pictures piecing together
Ended with tea, inspiring supper

And so I asked, was it a good day?
And so I answered, too many perspectives ... too little answers

The Monday Night out

Was with MK around the corner hanging out again. That sweet lil boy read my blog and also brought me to this place that serves delicious, affordable gelato called:



Patisfrance which is located in Taipan is a bakery-gelato stall-cafe style restaurant located just next to Maybank. To be exact, it is directly opposite Old Town Signature. The family place is rated superbly clean with recognition from MPSJ as well, earning 3 stars for their ratings ... whatever that meant.

Anyway, the gelato cost around RM5.90 for two scoops which taste really cool. But the best thinge to have there is actually pastries! There are tons and tons of em! Which is why I bought like 4 apple filled doughnuts, double choc chiffon cake, black sesame cake and green tea raisins bun. YUMMY!

Then as soon as we were about to leave, MK and I bumped into Gogo and Keke. The duo who I have not seen for ages! So we decided to walked across the street, head to Old Town Signature and chat. Our chat session soon went on to become one of the most dramatic night ever with the agenda of discussion - politics

After numerous complains, grunts about the new STUPID WHITE ELEPHANT 100 MENARA thinge, discomfort on the fact that the government is driving Msia into bankruptcy and how our governors are just monkeys without brains ... we all went home with a sore-heart that our government is pathetically ignorant about the people's real need and wants, despise the rich they already own like raw materials, agriculture, talents and brain ... along with many achievements!

and yet ... they choose the latter. If only they know that manipulation of the benefit and advantage of the country to get more money is more acceptable in the people's eye. Well ... I guess they would never know ... or care

Since I am one of the people and next generation to actually live in Malaysia, I will do my best in the next election. I am sure with tons of proof and government cases ... my decisions are easy

Remembering my Magnum, Mcflurry and Haagen Daaz surprise

I have to work tomorrow. I have to work on a weekend. I have to work on Sunday, my only weekend of the week since I have classes on Saturday. Life sucks big time!

But I am quite simple and easy to be happy. Some people just don't understand that sometimes ... all I need is just action. Just the act of it sweeps me off my feet ... or make me a lil boy ... just like when I was stressed up in Spore ... like this

Lil boy buying ice-cream


Lil Boy custom make ice cream


Lil Boy pick the best dressings


Lil Boy paid hefty price for happiness


How come I always have to make myself feel good ... where is the other person that was suppose to do it at my most down and vulnerable time? Fuck the manual book for giving people expectations and hope. Fuck it all!

Lemongrassboy is just bitter now ...

Sulking in Cold Waters

Sometimes it is very interesting how life brings you to certain crossroads. While you are living your own life thinking that special someone will always accompany you through life’s thick and thin, it would be best not to expect that. Hope is always very fragile and in many sense filled with cowardice.

Listening to the voice that is hidden in me for so many years, I really do not know whether what I’ve decided is the right path. After every ballot and every decision, I find myself still struggling with the same dilemma. I may have not moved or grown some may have said, but the desserts that I brave through and deadly lonely ocean I have sailed, I know I did. And perhaps that is all that really matters.

In action he swept me away, and so I ask again repeatedly with concern and caution ... will he ever do so again?

Because of that, I learned to never wander far. Always caution on the path of road that I am walking. Always afraid to jump and skip the beat when it is most enjoyable. Thus, I built these never-ending walls between the memories and dreams. Tangled in time ... I ask myself, am I at the crossroad? Or am I just justifying my own rebound? How can I unwind time, not to the past ... but fast forward? How can I flash forward courageously?

I am hanging myself from the shadow that lies ahead. I asked myself why do I feel so unwanted, so cold ... so uncertain? Do I throw the dice and gamble life away. Worse, gamble everything that I thought that would actually in fact matters the most.

Life is filled with mystery and in so often, misery. Perhaps Confucius is right that balance is good. When you are in doubt, don’t simplify matters – just be certain of it. When you are living in misery, balance it with mystery?

And so I feel used ... mere replacements, decorations in life ... always second

New wish list and a tumor?

I am currently updating my wish list...

The wish list will test both my management skills in financial and ability to resist spending on junks. Not exactly junk-per say ... but things that I do not necessary need or worsen the space issue in my wardrobe.

Anyway, remember that I rambled about my weight... I went on the weighing machine today and I am heaviest in my entire life. 69kg!!! I thought I put on weight on my belly ... or rather, politely said stomach but I am still able to wear my working slacks - at size 30. The 2.5 kilo increase was very sudden and within this few weeks ...

Its either I gotten muscle mass, which is quite ridiculous since I look the same ... or I got myself a tumor, which is very likely since my back aches more often now. The back part where people say it supports your entire body. Tentatively speaking, I better arrange a full body check up ...

Hmm ...

Worrying I must say but thank you to all the friends who had send their concern and comfort. I will be fine :-)

Adele's repeating on my itunes

Currently listening to this song. Means a lot doesn't it? How come? How come?

Adele - Make you feel my love

When the rain is blowing in your face,
and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
and there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
but I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
you ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
to make you feel my love
to make you feel my love

Rambling again about me

I do not know why I am blogging in class when I should be concentrating to the lecture. These days, my concentration and learning curve has been dropping. I believe that I am finally growing old.

That said, I do not know why I put on weight these days but still look awfully thin. I double my intake of food at most time and tries a balance diet. I really do envy people who are born with great proportioned body. At times, when I break myself in gym ... I really do wonder how certain members can gain weight or muscle much faster than I do.

It's been close to 6 years for me to be in gym and I have done personal training, vigorous exercise and correction training. Accompanied by strangers who turned friends, gym mates and professional trainers, the only perk I gotten was actually increasing my body mass with 4kg from my 65kg weight. It was the best time when no one said I look thin

Nowadays, even with focus exercises and maintaining my gym routine ... I still get comments that I look thin, I look skinny and similar commentary. Am I doing the wrong thing? I really hope I do not have to subject myself to saving a little more for steroids or muscle enlargement.


Notice how thin I look? Notice how small my arm and shoulder look ... *sob sob*

Sigh, perhaps its time for me to get some TLC. Maybe I will put on weight after I get into a relationship...

Courage ... my terms

I really admire people with courage.

People who are brave enough to make the first move to impress and decide their own fate. This is usually equated to the case of love. From making the first move, invitation to dinner to making the first big step in life, proposal or engagement, its a deep depth of achievement many would not be able to comprehend, nevertheless to execute. The courage that lies in love is usually blinded by ego and principles. That of I shouldn't over "pamper" my lover, the fear of rejection and definitely the all time famous; mind games. Whether it is pure joy torture or afraid to look weak - it's a choice of the individual. Thus, people who are pure idiots for romance, love and passion are usually the people we laugh at in life, movies and often portray a "magical" feeling. Is it a bad thing? I personally do not think so. People with courage in love are always look up to in reality. Tell me, do you envy couples walking down the aisle and bluntly cheesy with each other? No?

People who are taking risk. Often entrepreneurs and successful business stories will tell you this. They will go the distant, not fearing of challenges, falls, criticism, stress and what I deemed most important, the bravery of leaving one's comfort zone. After running my own business for a bit, and putting it on the background, I realize I lack in this courageous sense to start it all over again. Of course, many would dive into the opportunities once the time is right, but the secret of really continuing a successful business is to have the courage of constantly changing with it. To leave your comfort zone and do something different would be a great start



People who think courage is simply. The one who has guts to chase after what they really want are most admirable. These would be dreams. Let it be financial success, stability in life or even to the silliest, fairy tale ending. Sometimes the process may seem a bit desperate, silly and frown upon but nevertheless credit given where it is due, people who are willing to take bigger steps are commendable. They are also the people who dare face their weakness, rejection and move on with greater wisdom. Often this simply feeling is suppressed due to expectations and how others view the taboo spirit that lies in simplicity - just courage. As usual, humans like to make things complicated. So when one is overtly expressive or just plain chasing after what he or she want, here comes one other person shooting that idea down, pinning it with a string of reasons, ideologies and aesthetic reasons that is probably redundant to even mention.

Last but not least, people who transcend bravery to courageously crazy. Take bungee jumping for example. From an extreme sport to free falling and cheating death ... That's my definition of courageously crazy. People who would wink at you at the bar, come by and land a passionate kiss on your lips and when he is done, smile back and walk away ... you are still dazzled over what happened. The main traits are, actions are so quick ... it blinds reality and awesomely at certain point make Hollywood scenes look really shallow. Good one word of summary : Exhilarating. Bad one word of summary : idiot - the case of Kanye West vs. Taylor Swift. I always wonder, where do people get this kinda courageously crazy ideas. The lack of it would definitely kill innovations and innovators, the people themselves.

So am I courageous?

You tell me ...

Thai Ad - Disconnect to Connect

This advert says a lot about today's society. I hope friends that are close to me at heart seriously consider the severity of disconnecting present presence due to mobile addictions.



I salute the Thais for their bravery and creativity in creating such a meaningful advert.