I stare into the screen and thought, what should I be writing. It's either the fatigue or just me plain trying to get attention. I been feeling restless and pretty much under the weather the whole day. I hope the doc did not prescribe me depression pills.
So, I was driving around today in the car. It was after the rain, the weather was not too humid and as I passed by Yamaha Music at LDP, I had a flashback of how happy I was back in Melbourne. I was innocent, excited and most important content with the daily life of waking up to making sandwiches, riding my bike to library and await the long distance call or Skype. Then it snapped, the connection is established. I know why I was a slump in my car!
Knowing that I probably have very slight chance of returning to Melbourne, I had no choice but to put aside the feeling restlessness. It wasn't entirely about Melbourne. It was about me feeling worthy. Till today, I ask myself ... what really happened? Why did I return? Did I like betray my ownself?
So here I am back in my room, still wide awake but body has officially shut down trying to get into slumberland. I look forward to spending the week with great company. From Jan 25th till Feb 8th, most of my nights are reserved for dinner, party, gathering, group discussion and so ... If that is the case, how come I feel alone?