That said, have you ever wonder - what you are doing in life is ever the best thing or right thing? I know some of you guys are probably gonna be like "here he goes again, yapping away about life" ... but well, I just had some really tough time this past few weeks and to be honest, I do ask myself that question every time I look outside my window or when I listen to some songs, or when I look myself in the mirror and still wondering where all the workout went?
I am sure people like Kelly or Adele (quoting since they are the both latest no1 billboard singers now), are doing something right ... inspiring others, inspiring the industry and inspiring themselves.
So, here I sit on my bed, with one dimly lighted corner and having some fantastic music blasting at the background trying to grasp reality and write about some experiences that I encountered in the past few weeks. Did I inspired someone? Did I want to feel that I inspired that someone? Which is more important? Hmm.... I guess I never understood how people act these days - no matter how much I try to know lately - it seems to be knocking on doors that will never opened. I am sure it is the last time.
Amazing how much you can know a person in two months, and then how much protection you need to cast from yourself. It will get violent, my subconscious mind warns me. When more personal comes into the picture and the figures hit in, performance are being evaluated ... I will find myself in positions where I thought it would be ok, but it is not.
I mean, afterall even after two whole years, and a whole lot of compromises and deep conversations - it is still hard to understand a person's true form... I am either in denial or I am just the one-sided person who cares a lil too much and show a lil too much.
But well, humans are like that anyway. Come new toy or new topic of interest, the whole initial foundations are flushed away. It is always the initial part that is interesting and after some sessions, you either categorized that person as "omit-able responsibility" or "listed for companionship". I think in most cases of today's ever dynamic environment, people are opting for "mortar relationship". You fire a canon, bursting into smaller units of pellets only to find that you hit randomly at targets hoping one will be the best you will ever hit.
To be honest, what I am saying is that people can be really superficial these days. But saying it is one thing, being in it is another. How come people can keep hobbies and passion for certain "thing" so loyal and unconditionally love'em but when it comes to relationship or friendship - it is different? One wise man will answer me - people change ma. Then wouldn't the people himself change his interest and hobbies too? Ironic equation, undeniably irritating
While others enjoy this night ... I probably feel indifferent. Sigh... I am getting bored rambling. Ending the post la ... Lazy to write. Just heard my neighbour's kid fell down to the ground. A lot of crying happening now. Hate to write in this environment ...