Life after noticing the bigger picture

Listening to music, Chinese oldies love song, having sushi and a cuppa hot aromatic green tea is surely one of the best way to rewind. After working for the weekend, to collect more leaves and earn a bit of allowances for OT ... This definitely is life. Now I understand what mr watch meant by life is how you determine it to be. The power is in your hands. I used to look at my buddy, the one who loves cycling and wearing cap at home ... And think his life is so docile and lonely. All he does is work and lock himself up. I mean, come on he is living in bugis and that's is all in life for spore???

Now I finally understand. After finding peace within myself after a whole ordeal ... It is not what you do in life that matters most, is what you do for life. If you are happy content and grateful for the things you experience in life, you will feed your soul. To a level where you will know that the world is never enough and once you start the chase, it is on. Continuously either to haunt you or to please you. Just make sure you don't deny and lie to yourself that it is ok.

I learn it through moving south, finding self conflict and pain thru the power of harmful substance, the admission of loneliness and the final blow came to find out that the answer still lies within the other party in any progression were to happened. So it is then.

So after seeing kids played while families make sacrifices for the notion of family, I am glad I was part of this life that is real and apportion of me contributing to it. That's comfort to me. That's contentment for me. That's what makes me ... Me. One may notice that I hardly compliment myself but today yesterday and the day before after spending quality time w my colleagues, I realized that they had inserted so much reassurance and blessing to have my presence around.

Mr Muscle said "it is you, something about you that makes people smile and happy" and Dr Retail that said yesterday "you don't realize it but you make people wanna be at their best, happy or at work. You make em laugh"

Those had lapse from me for a while I admit. I used to live to see K smile laugh and wanna giggle. So The better me would prevail. It's pretty much the same I reckon. So, from now on ... I will try to be more positive, and definitely will make more smile. It's worth living for em...

Ha! Life ... Hmm time to down my tamago sushi!!! And just some pics of you missed my tweets :-)

And it is the weather again?

I am taking some break time off today at work. After a hectic schedule and running around, it was bestowed again by the impecabble power of message. I realize I use bombastic words when I am in a journey of despair or rather am dissapointed some how. So yes, again I am dissapointed. It seems that I always prove myself right at the end. Have I inherited some premination intuition skills or was it purely luck and statistic? I believe to be that acurate, its a mixed of both

As usual, I am keeping my mouth shut about such issues, and to each interval of fall, you rose and learn from experiences. I think many of us call that process growing up, at my age - I prefer to acknowledge the term : aging. Gracefully of course.

Take life as a pinch of salt and focus in the more important task. Life move on with every death, and life goes on with every birth.

The only trouble is that principles in life are often challenged when it comes to conflict of interest, especially with the self. So, in my case it is either sacrificying innocence for protection or risk hurt for passion. World's apart and deep, I think many of us think about that in the days of our life. Should we? Then shouldn't wouldn't would'ya ...

At the end of the day, I think embracing each mark in life is worth it. There are some crossroads in life one just never can understand but when you just feel, it is always the most innocent and natural way to comprehend. But the formality in life disperses those thoughts. So where do we actually stand ?

Are we allowed to be ourself but yet distant from negativity, or is it a struggle always in life one have to embrace only to get better?

Sound like a battle. Similar to my post about contentment vs happiness.

So I am repeating myself? Hmmm ... well just for thoughts.

The weekend, a birthday and a visit

The weekend was filled with uplifting no string attached moments. Spend most of my time doing things a laid back town boy will be doing. Laundry, house keeping, ironing, furniture hunting, napping, gyming, topping up inventories in the fridge and of course eating. Ate most this weekend, mostly at some of the more famous places w crowd. This weekend, it was Tampoi Nasi Padang and Sutera Duck Rice (not names of restaurant) but area where the food is located. Actual locations will be disclosed via physical visits. Haha.

Then came the day I had to work in Singapore for the whole day and only to have my friend story telling me retirement ideas, plans and the pleasure of a relationship over dinner. Was a good day trip to spore

And while I lost roaming, I lost myself in an entire different dimension. Weird, but today is Mr Watch bday. So a shout out to him - Happy Bday.

Cant help it but things may not build to last. All just short term hear some say

So random thoughts aside, my regular occasion visit of thoughtful "I" is back. Urgh. Bad timing. When the body is tired but the mind is awake, u only get bad result. Anxiety Zombie and Tired

Damn

Venturing to the mids

Lately there have been a lot of revelation leading me to think bout reaching the mids. It's kinda awakening when something important (or deemed as inspirational) is taken away, either temporarily or permanently. The death of the legendary Whitney Houston for one not only showcase that age is creeping up but also that idols come and go when you are around something that age. Some experience it with back in the days w Aretha, some w the lead singer for carpenters and some w pop king MJ.

But death is not the only thing that help realize one is moving towards the mids. The fact that certain friendships are distaning by nature too support this form of idea. Inevitably, the older you get friends especially from school or uni days around dwindle. They get married and moved on w family life, the get pregnant and moved on to lifetime commitments, they get new jobs and moved to places farther away for gatherings and some just change for better or worse I don't know, they just leave traces of friendships rather than connecting. Life goes on some says, nothing is permanent. How ironic that even that said, never once people realize the importance of "being young" or so to speak, being connected with loved ones.

Recently while I moved to JB, I certainly had lost more friends than gaining new ones. But I am proud to have few that still connects. I realize even though age is creeping up, I am happy and content to have a bunch of this companions that kept me "young" per say, kept me alive. I vow to do the same for those who care. Care back. I will live by my words, that I carry since high school ... Appreciate those who appreciate you because they set a world difference in life that can never be replaced.

So while in the world of comes and goes, it is really the individual themselves that can choose how to live their life, especially approaching the mids. Although often choices are not up to one to decide, there is always the side to seeing things on a lighter and brighter note.

Thou shall now remove my facial mask and make some calls to friends who had made the difference by appreciating who I really am without having doubts or personal reservation of any sort. Till then, Oyasuminasai peeps!

Ramble on em ... >?

Another week had flew past. It is amazing how the year 2012 is just glimpsing by so quickly.

That said, have you ever wonder - what you are doing in life is ever the best thing or right thing? I know some of you guys are probably gonna be like "here he goes again, yapping away about life" ... but well, I just had some really tough time this past few weeks and to be honest, I do ask myself that question every time I look outside my window or when I listen to some songs, or when I look myself in the mirror and still wondering where all the workout went?

I am sure people like Kelly or Adele (quoting since they are the both latest no1 billboard singers now), are doing something right ... inspiring others, inspiring the industry and inspiring themselves.

So, here I sit on my bed, with one dimly lighted corner and having some fantastic music blasting at the background trying to grasp reality and write about some experiences that I encountered in the past few weeks. Did I inspired someone? Did I want to feel that I inspired that someone? Which is more important? Hmm.... I guess I never understood how people act these days - no matter how much I try to know lately - it seems to be knocking on doors that will never opened. I am sure it is the last time.

Amazing how much you can know a person in two months, and then how much protection you need to cast from yourself. It will get violent, my subconscious mind warns me. When more personal comes into the picture and the figures hit in, performance are being evaluated ... I will find myself in positions where I thought it would be ok, but it is not.

I mean, afterall even after two whole years, and a whole lot of compromises and deep conversations - it is still hard to understand a person's true form... I am either in denial or I am just the one-sided person who cares a lil too much and show a lil too much.

But well, humans are like that anyway. Come new toy or new topic of interest, the whole initial foundations are flushed away. It is always the initial part that is interesting and after some sessions, you either categorized that person as "omit-able responsibility" or "listed for companionship". I think in most cases of today's ever dynamic environment, people are opting for "mortar relationship". You fire a canon, bursting into smaller units of pellets only to find that you hit randomly at targets hoping one will be the best you will ever hit.

To be honest, what I am saying is that people can be really superficial these days. But saying it is one thing, being in it is another. How come people can keep hobbies and passion for certain "thing" so loyal and unconditionally love'em but when it comes to relationship or friendship - it is different? One wise man will answer me - people change ma. Then wouldn't the people himself change his interest and hobbies too? Ironic equation, undeniably irritating

While others enjoy this night ... I probably feel indifferent. Sigh... I am getting bored rambling. Ending the post la ... Lazy to write. Just heard my neighbour's kid fell down to the ground. A lot of crying happening now. Hate to write in this environment ...

My holiday weekend in JB

Oh my it is been so long since I wrote something. I wonder if anyone still reads... I only realised that after getting back today, just an hour ago. I didn't mean to abandon my blog, but come to think of it - maybe I did neglect it.

I had some time these few days. Since its holiday and I was actually stationed back in JB for the weekend, I spent many hours watching Bleach, cleaning the house and actually just doing laid-back stuff. That said, I did a few interesting things this weekend:

GYM

I went to a community-ala-neighbourhood gym that allow pay by entry usage just to test the facilities and machine. I have to say that it is nothing compared to the "franchise giants" back in KL but relatively, the machines are good enough for proper weight lifting and training. The interesting thing is that, everything else is pretty much standard. You get free weights area, cardio machines and the normal weight-pull-push stuffs. You get standard groupies helping and motivating each other to do more sets and reps. You occasionally get girls going about the cardio treadmills and trying out the assistance machines.

The interesting new experience for me was actually the temperature. Gym is hardly equipped with enough aircond. Am not complaining, because I think it helps actually for the body to push even harder. That said, I realize I can concentrate and work out better too. Perhaps it is crowd pressure. Everyone in the gym actually looks like they are serious about working out, and it shows in their back, shoulder, arms, legs ...

So, I officially sign up for a 3 months package deal. It is not that bad really, the memership fee is around rm80p/month ... and if I go for the yearly deal ... it would be rm58 p/month. And that is the best gym in town. LOL ... wonder if there are cheaper options :P

BOWLING
I had my first bowling in Singapore yesterday and my first bowling in JB today. I guess that is what you usually do here because most of the lanes are packed with people. Actually waited about 30-45minutes for a lane. The experience was of course thrilling because it is the first time that I exercised twice a day, gym then bowling. Ok, maybe many of you do not consider bowling as a sport but really! flexxing the biceps, focus and swinging bowling balls are not exactly a walk in the park, especially when you are playing with pros.

I cannot help but feel that my performance was quite ameteurish due to the fact that most of the bowling balls do not fit my "fingers". I am really conteplating getting a ball custom made for my own but that would easily be another RM500. Should I? or Should I not?

JAPANESE
Strangely, I am also picking up the skill to converse in Japanese. Although I am not hiring any teacher yet to tutor me, I am keen to actually attend language classes. Now, the barrier of entry now comes into my mind. Where the **** can I get this center. Apparently, I need to work harder to locate this language center because I don't think I can self teach myself to proper expression and communication standards required for this language. That said, I am starting the basics on my own and probably will buy a book with CD/AUDIO assistance. Any advise which is good?

To top it up, of course my anime watching helps abit. hehe ... SO DES NE!!!

...

Funny that I wrote all of this. I actually wanted to write about something else behind my head but after 15 min of typing, I realize I strayed from my intended post. Hmm... Maybe I shouldnt dwell ito that topic yet. Dont think it is healthy. So, here I go ... probably wasted your time reading my crap. Sorry...