Woke up today feeling different. What happened to the optimistic and let's get things done attitude? Missing links again.
I flipped the newspaper yesterday and read something interesting, thinking why am I not shortlisted as part of the recruitment. Was someone pranking me? Or was it something I did not do? or what?
Checked my portfolio and earnings for the stocks I've uploaded to license. Not moving as well as I expected and definitely not enough to pay my bills, yet. I guess it is my skills? Or perhaps my camera? I definitely should blame myself for not giving my best in most photo shoots!
Then, comes the prep for my next project. I just realize that I am easily pushed around by clients and I have to firmly say "no" the next time. What is the point of executing a project when you are only earning to survive with little profit margin? or even worse - being taken advantage of? I feel bad for having to trouble my other friends to loan equipments and tools.
Which follow to why am I not born at least with at least a bronze spoon in my mouth? I am not asking for a gold one ... Ok ... I better stop here before I lose control of my emotion and literally throw my temper around. Look at the good side of things ... right?
I just realize I ask a lot of question and usually stumble with no answers to them. Sometimes even with answers that I am not satisfied - I tend to get all woman. I really feel shitty and wished my brain was not so complicated, or rather curious. Right?