Thursday, January 29, 2009

Icon Idol

I woke up today feeling restless and aimless. It's quite difficult to keep yourself up and going all the time. Seeing my discipline boss waking up early in the morning, working at his desk somehow keeps me going. Sometimes I tell myself to work a lil harder and smarter ... to get to where he is today. Sometimes it work wonders, sometimes I end up in front of the TV.

The motivation didn't last long thou. As soon as I was home in the afternoon, I went for a 2 hours nap, one hour of reading newspaper and foreseeing myself to play "school tycoon" on the PC for the next three hours. Then dinner, and maybe Yam Cha with my friends. How la to be discipline like that?

Monday, January 26, 2009


在这一年,我希望各个朋友和情爱的家人,心想事成, 喜气洋洋 和 平平安安。 新年快乐!

A new year arrived, I would like to wish all my friends and beloved family a Happy Chinese New Year and may all your dreams come true with prosperity through out the year and a safe and peaceful one ahead!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Ugly Betty next door

I did many great things today; helped mum to clean the house for CNY, decorate the house, went shopping, cleaned my room, did my homeworks and edited some of my photographs. The most memorable was actually me bathing a REAL dog, a dog that I hope soon will be proclaimed to be my own. At this present moment, the dog belongs to my neighbour.

How she came about? Well, literally from the womb of a bitch, her mother who was the dog that stayed at my neighbour's while I was studying in Australia (2+ years back). Just after a few months I got back, the mother got raped, gave birth to puppies and she was one of the last that wasn't adopted. Come to think of it, she did get adopted but was exchanged for another pup due to her looks. YES! This lil dog didn't turn out pretty. See for yourself ...

2+ years back

Current pic - German Spitz + Mix Dalmation = spots on her body

Although her look is worse than Ugly Betty, but she has everything to love for in a dog. This notti lil fella which then turn stupid (why? cos she loves to eat her own shit ... not now thou, we spanked her until she learns to appreciate REAL FOOD), touched everyone's heart (including my MUM! which equated to MIRACLE) with her mousy look, cute eyes, loyalty, bubbly personality, one of a kind prance and dramatic life story ...

I always wanted a dog, I guess I just gotten one out from no where. Hehe. By the way, my neighbour is never home, and only kept the front house yard for the dog to stay in. So, my family and I took turns to shower the dog with love - food, bath, treats, new collars and also real play time!

K loves her too! But he loves every dog in the world. So, it's quite hard to equate. Hehe Ironically, we call her Stupid Girl and she respond to it. Our bad for judging a puppy carrying shit in her mouth most of the time. Anyway, if you say her name really quickly many many times, repeatly over and over again, it may sound like Cupid Girl. Haha ...

Ok enough blogging, time to head back to my editing work. Announcing something big soon!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The song

The same song plays after 19days. Same lyric, same singer, same listener, same mood. A song that I played for K to listen and he to me too. I am on a crossroad

Sunday, January 18, 2009

孫燕姿 Stephani Sun - 开始懂了Kai Shi Dong Le

我竟然没有调头 最残忍那一刻
Wo jing ran mei you diao tou, zui chan ren na yi ke
静静看你走 一点都不像我
Jing jing kan ni zhou, yi dian dou bu xiang wo
原来人会变得温柔 是透彻的懂了
Yuan lai ren hui bian de wen rou, shi tou che de dong le
爱情是流动的 不由人的
Ai qing shi liu dong de, bu you ren de
He bi ji dong zhe yao li you
相信你只是怕伤害我 不是骗我
Xiang xin ni zhi shi pa shang hai wo, bu shi pian wo
Hen ai guo shui hui she de
把我的梦摇醒了 宣布幸福不会来了
Ba wo de mong yao xing le, xuan bu xin fu bu hui lai le
用心酸微笑去原谅了 也翻越了
Yong xin shuan wei xiao qu yuan liang le, ye fan yue le
有昨天还是好的 但明天是自己的
You zuo tian hai shi hao de, dan ming tian shi zi ji de
开始懂了 快乐是选择
Kai shi dong le, kuai le shi xuan ze

Saturday, January 17, 2009


天黑的时候, 我听见你的哭声
陌生的你让我痛, 让我疼
但我还不明白,不懂, 想给自己希望
就不要帕, 不要放弃

你看我好吗。 我已经决得不行了

Friday, January 16, 2009

Happy and Sad

Its amazing how I can be cheerful with just a piece of dark chocolate. I was not very happy the whole day (same ol depression story) and I met K up later at Pavillion after picking up his car. I was walking around DKNY and Burberry and I hated myself for not being able to just buy something off the counter. Being not financial capable sucks! I swore that I will not allow myself to feel the same shit again ever in the future. I really had enough of not being able to afford things I like. Enough is enough I told myself. I will not allow others look down on me and pop the question of doubt and concern whether I can buy something.

So thanks to K who was so sweet to buy me a chocolate drink and a delicious strip of dark Theobroma chocolate, I feel much better already and am motivated to move forward with my plans. I am going to work hard to get what I want in the future ...

2009 is going to be a bright year! It's going to be ...

Thursday, January 15, 2009


I was driving K around town today since his car was admitted to the mechanic. As he was away in a meeting at Salak Selatan, I sat at a small mamak stall and waited for him. Now, Salak Selatan is a small neighborhood between Kuchai Lama and Sg. Besi where you will find unforgiving highways cutting across their skyview. If a bomb goes off at their commercial area, you will find heaps of paper flying around and dead mechanics... Yes, Salak Selatan is home to car mechanics and commercial-industrial printers.

As I was tucked away in one small corner at the mamak stall, sitting under a tree sheltering me from direct sunlight - I notice something interesting. Something comfortable. A forgotten feeling I used to experience back in high school. The feeling of Muhibah.

The mamak was run by a few Indian man (owners) and a few Malay ladies (waitress and cook) ... and most of the customer were Chinese! They spoke in multiple language and understand each other like long-term couples. There were laughters, chatters, an unspoken joy and peace about the place, transforming it from a drabby, ugly, dirty area (which looks a lot like a landfill dump) into this little peaceful and MUHIBAH heaven. Haha ... I hope I am making sense


Malay Waitress : E ... Pergi la, jangan kacau ku
Indian Owner : Laugh and still teasing her
Chinaman : Ah Neh! Kira! Berapa?
Indian Owner : Sam Kau Pat (Canton) = RM3.80
Chinaman : Hand over RM4
Indian Owner : Continue teasing, forgot about the change
Malay Waitress : Cau Chien A! (Canton)
Indian Owner : Sorry ... Sorry ... Lupa
Chinaman : Laugh and took the change.

I smile to myself and feel so lucky to be there, seeing the picture of how Malaysian should become some day. And our government goes on with empty ramblings about how we are not unify. Bullcrap!

Car boot forced through ...

Today I drove K's car to meet a client in Sri Kembangan in the afternoon. It was a short 15 minute meeting and when I returned to the parking lot ... the boot was open. I was in a state of shock and quickly searched the car for missing items. Apparently someone forced open the back but did not damage or took anything from the car.

It was in broad daylight and the place where I parked had a fair passing traffic. Moreover, it was in a commercial area and this bunch of thief (or maybe one) is daring enough to hack open the boot for luck. K's RM7000+ audio system is still intack without any damage and nothing was lost.

I guess the thieves (or thief) must have end up being dissapointed and furious to find an empty boot. I just hope the soon-to-come feeling sink in ... the "I FEEL STUPID" feeling... Haha

Moral of the story : No matter where you park or how you park or how safe is the place, always just prepare for the worse (which translate to saving extra money to fix the car if damaged) and get insurance coverage for the vehicle.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Trying to be superman

Sunway Pyramid - KLIA - KLCC - Pavillion - Midvalley - SoulOut Sri Hartamas - Bamboo TTDI

7 places in one day. Not funny ... I was close to vomiting blood. All the walking, eating, driving, talking, dancing and drinking almost took my stomach out. I was out from 10am Friday morning till 4am Saturday morning. It was one hell of an outing ...

10.30am - Arrive at Sunway Pyramid scouting for gift
12.00pm - Bought gift, had quick lunch with K
12.45pm - Reached home, bath, wrapped gift and off to KLIA
1.50pm - Reached KLIA and waited for Erwin
2.30pm - Head to KL
3.40pm - Reach KLCC, quick meal at Delicious
5.30pm - Window shopping @ KL Pav.
6.45pm - Stuck in traffic to Midvalley
8.00pm - Dinner with Eva, Lynn at Midvalley
10.45pm - Yam Cha with INM gang in Soul Out
12.00am - Clubbing at Bamboo TTDI with INM gang
3.30am - Drove home, avoided police road block
4.30am - Sleeping

Then I woke up in the afternoon, missed calls flooded my silent-mode phone and I had to drag myself up, start planning for the day. I recalled before snoring into dreamland that Saturday is another packed day. I took the I-touch, pressed on the calender icon and the agenda for the day was packed. Meet people, entertain, use money ... yada yada. I wonder, how those socialites or club kid survive going through the same ol packed day so often ...

I scroll to the last itinerary of the day ...Clubbing again !!!

I am so sleeping in tomorrow

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


Friends who knew who I am and took the time to understand me would definitely know what to do during this period. Thanks guys for the therapy talk, window shopping sessions and your lovely concerns. Depression is not my middle name but it is like cough. Once you catch it, it is hard to get rid off it.

I am feeling very lonely nowadays. Top it up with me easily angered over tiny matters and suffering from minor insomnia - I look dreadful everyday! Long gone the clown you guys knew

In the day I would sit in front of laptop, browse through thousand of seen clips from youtube, surf google, read blogs of friends, relatives, unknown, enemies and then chat on MSN. At the end of the day, I sighed myself for lunch, dinner and retreat to my room exercising my chinese writings and read outdated magazines till everyone goes to bed.

In the night, my brain would not allow me to sleep, pumping stress, questions, anxiety and sometimes adrenaline at ungodly hours. I dance when everyone is asleep, meditate for hours and still toss and turn in bed. Hot showers, Hot milks and counting sheeps has become routine basis for an easy sleeper like me. I turned to cold showers, cold milks (after the hot ones failed) and read something boring in hope that I doze off before sunrise.

Once I hit slumberland, I will still pop out of sleep frequently. Disturb and blurry when morning comes as if I took drugs, alcohol and had wild sex all night long. Then I will dread myself out bed feeling sober (when i am not) and look forward for the same ol shit. If you get to see me popping a smile, you should buy the lottery. Most of the time, I see myself in the mirror and I feel like skinning someone alive.

Feeling hopeless, aimless, restless mixing it with fatigue, nausea, headaches, loss of appetite, bloating stomach and top it up with a pair of black-baggy eyes, pimples popping all over my body and sneezing through out the day ... I am so close to skinning myself alive.

Well ... Let's just hope like cough, after a doze of medication and refraining intakes of cold stuff ... it will go away, just like this depression thing

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Feeling indifferent about 2009

According to many friends, new year 2009 was dull, slow and quiet. I am not quite sure whether it was caused by the forecast of an upcoming recession (a very bad one indeed) or is it just Malaysia.

For me, the new year wasn't much but after just three days, I am feeling worse than ever. I wake up every morning feeling demotivated, aimless and angry over many other things. I reckon is the Insomnia or Sleeping disorder I am getting but it was not that bad a few weeks ago...

I guess I will just have to straighten things out on my own ... sigh, what a way to start lemongrassboy eh!

Friday, January 2, 2009

S.H.E. - 安靜了 An Jing Le (pinyin lyrics)

SHE MV and Lyrics

Zhi Sheng Xia Gang Qin Pei Wo Zhan Zai Zhe Li
梦想中 属於我们的婚礼
Meng Xiang Zhong Shu Yu Wo Men De Hun Li
却成了 单人结婚进行曲
Que Cheng Le Dan Ren Jie Hun Jin Xing Qu

Zai Zhe Chang Ai Qing Jiao Li De Ba He Li
Ai Wo Hai Shi Ai Ni
你选择了自己 wo~
Ni Xuan Ze Le Zi Ji

撒娇的 可爱的
Sa Jiao De Ke Ai De
迷人的 爱哭的
Nian Ren De Ai Ku De
照片里 曾经的 都是你喜欢的
Zhao Pian Li Ceng Jing De Dou Shi Ni Xi Huan De
Ru Jin Wo Hai Zai Yuan Di
Ni Que Zou Hui Ni De Ji Yi

你说我爱你太多 就快要把你淹没
Ni Shuo Wo Ai Ni Tai Duo Jiu Kuai Yao Ba Ni Yan Mo
你害怕幸福 短暂一秒就崩落
Ni Hai Pa Xing Fu Duan Zhan Yi Miao Jiu Beng Luo
分开是一种解脱 让你好好的想过
Fen Kai Shi Yi Zhong Jie Tuo Rang Ni Hao Hao De Xiang Guo
我想要的那片天空 你是不是能够给我
Wo Xiang Yao De Na Pian Tian Kong Ni Shi Bu Shi Neng Gou Gei Wo

你说我给你太多 却不能给我什麽
Ni Shuo Wo Gei Ni Tai Duo Que Bu Neng Gei Wo Shen Me
Fen Bu Qing Ji Qing Cheng Nuo Yong Heng Huo Mi Huo
爱情是一道伤口 我们各自苦痛
Ai Qing Shi Yi Dao Sheng Kou Wo Men Ge Zi Ku Tong
沉默是我最後温柔 是因为我太爱你
Cheng Mo Shi Wo Zui Hou Wen Rou Shi Yin Wei Wo Tai Ai Ni

Zhi Sheng Xia Gang Qin Pei Wo Zhan Zai Zhe Li
梦想中 属於我们的婚礼
Meng Xiang Zhong Shu Yu Wo Men De Hun Li
安静了 在我枕边的梦里
An Jing Le Zai Wo Zhen Bian De Meng Li
Wo Zhi Dao Shang Ai Ren Ben Jiu Bu Rong Yi
Ai Bu Shi Yi Jia Yu
努力就有结局 wo~
Nu Li Jiu You Jie Ju

撒娇的 可爱的
Sa Jiao De Ke Ai De
迷人的 爱哭的
Nian Ren De Ai Ku De
照片里 曾经的 都是你爱着你的
Zhao Pian Li Ceng Jing De Dou Shi Ai Zhe Ni De
Lian Jia De Lei Hai Wen Re
Que Mei You Ren Wo Wo De Shou

你说我爱你太多 就快要把你淹没
Ni Shuo Wo Ai Ni Tai Duo Jiu Kuai Yao Ba Ni Yan Mo
你害怕幸福 短暂一秒就崩落
Ni Hai Pa Xing Fu Duan Zhan Yi Miao Jiu Beng Luo
分开是一种解脱 让你好好的想过
Fen Kai Shi Yi Zhong Jie Tuo Rang Ni Hao Hao De Xiang Guo
我想要的那片天空 你是不是能够给我
Wo Xiang Yao De Na Pian Tian Kong Ni Shi Bu Shi Neng Gou Gei Wo

你说我给你太多 却不能给我什麽
Ni Shuo Wo Gei Ni Tai Duo Que Bu Neng Gei Wo Shen Me
Fen Bu Qing Ji Qing Cheng Nuo Yong Heng Huo Mi Huo
爱情是一道伤口 我们各自苦痛
Ai Qing Shi Yi Dao Sheng Kou Wo Men Ge Zi Ku Tong
沉默是我最後温柔 是因为我太爱你
Cheng Mo Shi Wo Zui Hou Wen Rou Shi Yin Wei Wo Tai Ai Ni