Friday, September 28, 2007


I am worst than a slut. Yes, that was the reason I why I broke off. The main killer of PLU relationship ... a good example, me. Please learn from me!

No matter what are my reasons of my doing, they are only excuses. I am transparent now, I don't care how people look at me or see me. I am me, a cleaner and smarter me ... believe it or not ... somethings cannot be change, but people can grow and the older you are, the wiser your decision making will be.

I accept the fact I have been a disgrace, dirty and manipulative person. Someone who preaches the wrong doing and someone who lies to cover my own weakness. I accept the fact that I was insecure with myself and was in denial. I didn't want to be lonely thinking that everything I did can be hidden forever ... I guess sometimes, you need to be lonely to grow.

But I am glad I came out that way. Everything happened for a reason. I am going to brace it myself, accept the coming and learn to grow up. I am weak, amputated and feeling uncertainty every moment. The hardship and suffering will come. But I will not give up. My little voice will help ...

For who I want to be and be with, I believe I can do it

It feels good to be transparent and to my dear friends, thank you for not judging me. I promise you guys that I will be better ... smarter ... and cleaner ...

Lesson to learn : Change for the better of yourself, be selfish. Admit your fault and move on strong.


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

7th day

A week. It felt long ... but it was worth it.

Happy autumn and mooncake festival everyone!!!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Next please

So, what's next?

Growing up ... only one thing have to change. I guess the rest will pretty much remain. Afterall, I am still me and knowing me ... sigh! Sorry dearest friends - you've gotta support me through this even if I am doing something silly. What to do? I just wanna be content and happy. Thanks for the ears, shoulders, hands, arms, legs and mouth.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Don't Cry

Today, someone ask me ... why is the weather like that? That is how i feel at the moment. He replied, things will be fine. It's been rough. It's been really rough...

A huge part of me is lost, taken away and I deserve it. It's a feeling that only tears can express. I felt cheated by own. I brought myself to the next level to have get the courage to look into his eyes and believe that he made the right choice. It was hard. It wasn't something I want to do, or need to do but I have to do it. It was only fair and within time perhaps ... he will heal ... move on and ... find a better. I will grow but he will too. For better or worse, let time tell.

Some feelings would never change. It's a name and birthmark that lives with you forever. I am that kinda person. I will always fight for something I believe worth fighting for. But often, its not always you. Sometimes the best thing to do is cruelly hurt yourself to move on.

I am listening to the same melodic tune, season of fireworks. The same song I played 5 years ago when I left that special someone. Today, history repeats. Same mood, same song but different person. I suppose no one will every understand why I drown myself in sad songs. I suppose the imperfection in life makes you treasure the perfection in it.

Well ... I guess Fergie's right. Big girls don't cry....

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Hairy Issue

I am losing hair. Unfortunately it is not my body hair. I am not too sure of the reasons, but the amount is enough to raise the alarm.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Grad pictures

Here are the pictures for my grad. Then, it will be back to normal post. Hopefully soon. Happy Puasa to all my muslim friends, readers, anti-fans and stalkers out there!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
It was held at the E&O Hotel at Penang

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Mum and Grandma, the most happiest person

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
I like this picture ... dunno why

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Talking to Sally Walker, Professor and Vice-Chancellor of Deakin Uni

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Famile Portrait ...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Thank you Kenny for taking the pictures!