Friday, December 31, 2010


When you come upon a certain age or maturity, especially after you make some real progress in life defeating self pity and enduring a sea of hardship from work, social and family expectations... You become rigid, often choosing the road most taken and on many occasion subjecting to just doing the common, nothing outside the box. The reason to protect yourself, you prioritize none other than yourself.

First priority; fortress and defense

Crucial to prevent hurt, abandonment and depression. It comes in many forms of expression, anti social. Speak less of the mind and heart while having coffee or drinks with another person. Controlled affections and gesture of appreciation. To top it up, remaining silence in any form of decisions that may alter life changing experiences or risk self from being vulnerable to hurt. The training to do that? Simply rejecting empathy. All in the name of self defense.

Second priority; values and added ones

The chance of opportunities and chasing after a better living depends on this judgement of value. Is it worth every single time I invest. We are talking business? Nope, I beg to differ. In any friendship or love or even merely acquaintances ... the society talks about value in return. What can this friend do? What can this friend give back? Those questions which dilutes the real normality or supposedly relationship between human kinds have even been blurred by technology. Today people ask of looks, vital stats and discovering affection over gadgets, Internet spaces and some building marriages over kingdom in the virtual gaming reality. When a divorce comes, I want your warlord castle and the farms it comes with it. To worsen things, people become calculative even of the feelings they shared, sacrificies they make and some record a log of activities rotating around friends, only a few hours between friend a and then friend b. Rightful? Values? I believe we have officially allowed ourselves to decrease whatever that comes with that definition ... and we actually prefer it that way.

Priority three ; never the three

Long gone the Neighbour principle. We probably know more of celebrities then actual neighbors. Some of us still believe in the Neighbour charms but most us let it get by. So what if the opposite Neighbour moved in and out a gazillion times, I never had to bake muffins as welcome gifts and certainly save the trouble of it when they leave. Ideologies forgotten that has encrypted our lifestyles. Things that even couple do that affects a third party must be held for order of living. Dump the dog, uncare the home and divide the friends are among priorities couples do when they split. Third party? Is there even a need for one?

Priority Four : time is of the Essence

So breaking up on email is fast easy and reliable. Working on weekends gives you shortcut to a promotion or year end bonus if you are lucky. What's apping a friend is cheaper than actual call and invitation for drinks! Not to mentioned forgoing trips and any other gathering because I need more time! The strategy to this is to maximize me time and really just let days passed unplanned for the future. By that I meant living routinely and when the time comes, it comes. So in a fast paced world, comes the fast paced self therefore everything else is speedy. Need of speed to get into a relationship and get out of it. Applies throughout ... Work , charity , political arena, visiting home and even smelling the roses can be done now by downloading a quick app. Time! Aging is forbidden

Priority five ; thou shall have explanations

And at the end all excuses. Procrastination and mislead is vital for this element to survive. All said and done has an agenda to it and thee shall accept it for thou is the conquering royalty. Simple term, ego boosting self inflicted recognition people exist in every nook and corner of the planet. These maskers hide their weakness and shower you with speech that encourages their stand and charisma. How to avoid them? Don't!!!! The more you know them, the better it is to tacklee such people. Where to find them? You will be surprise ... And I am sure you know where the answers are. People do it for a number of reason, mainly to protect their ass and that is closlely related to priority one. So the next time you feel hurt that someone is trying to justify himself or herself, just sulk it up and ramble it with your friends. Cos people like that will never learn to listen, accept humility and admit their wrong. When was the last time you said sorry? Or tweet about humility to another person? Yeap ... Go figure how come majority people status their dissatisfaction and have reasons to prove that they are right. Is it necessary?

And so I am feeling the strain blogging from binge. Talk about priorities when it comes to writing down a thought. Thou I used up 30min just to pin my thoughts down thru a phone. So don't mind the errors! Happy new year and may your priorities change

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

It's tuesday, and counting

Can't wait for tomorrow! I am finally going on leave. For one day. That said, it is better than none. Have to be positive since Mr Darling is constantly reminding me about my previous post and yes yes ... I should keep up to it. *Lifting eyebrow

I will be making my days worth, whatever that is left of 2010. It has not been exactly a bad year but the next few days could turns things around if I am not careful. So, one day at a time ... I shall bring my family on an outing tomorrow for half the day and spent the other half with Mr Watch! Then on Thursday, its work again, gym and meeting up with a prospective person to give me part time job. To think of juggling a full time job, part time job and MBA ... *lifting both eyebrows ... Thank you Mr Darling for the job recommendations! Friday would be hell but I think I am meeting MK for Disney Princess marathon or drinks nearby, whichever more convenient. Then meeting with Mr Cameraman on Sunday for another prospective part time income. Wah lah ... Its 2011 then ... :P

So many mister mister. Maybe I should be more creative at camouflaging my friends. After all, I am trying to squeeze my creative head more often. Hmmm ... Somehow I am not anonymous but they are, ironic rite?

Ok ... So ... I am at work now, trying to finish my stuff but at the same time constantly distracted by the peace and quiet surrounding. No one is working ... So be it ... I shall work in my slowest, most unproductive ever pace. Burnt out since last saturday and sunday ...

So ... I am up for lunch in a few minutes. Time to youtube for new music videos.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Beyond 2011

Today I spent some quality time with Mr Darling catching up about many aspects of life. Before I start, just for the sake of explanation ... Mr Darling is a close friend and not someone romatically related. I know you are reading this Mr Darling, happy? LOL

I would like to call him by that nickname because of his nature in always putting others before himself and how his pragmatic advise, support and moral assistance have always been enlightening ever since the day we met.

Mr Darling claims that I am very moody, or it is portrayed that way in my blog. To clear things out, perhaps I have been quite imbalance in the past often writing the negativity ramblings in my life, overshadowing the opposite which are the joy in my life. I guess it's just natural that I complain more than I compliment. In a different perspective, I talk alot about bad stuff rather than good stuff. Yeap! What a smack in my own face right?

That said, I believe I do post about my happy times too ~ like my Korea trip, friends outing and others. If we are talking about dwelling into the deep of my thoughts and emotional fortress (more like a barn filled with animals actually, think of Snow White) ... I believe often it is dark because I have a tendency to keep negativity buried inside. But Mr Darling is right, I must learn to overcome pessimism and have more confidence.


1st lesson. To accept who I am and complain less? Yes ... must do that immediately.

So, let's channel some positive tone and after all, Christmas this year wasn't that bad! To begin with, I've received numerous wonderful gifts from colleagues and friends. I shall wait till 16th next month before showing off the gifts I received *snobbish pose* as my last xmas party is scheduled then. That said, I am actually happy, or safely said content with what I have achieved this year.

1. Completed 60% of my MBA studies without any failed subject so far. Let's keep the fingers crossed through out the course.
2. Met new friends and flourished some that became important companions in my life
3. Had a fair emotional ride as well as logical enlightenment
4. Worked my ass out for the company who seems to appreciate me to a certain degree, although I think otherwise
5. Spent quality and quantity time with my family
6. Equally dedicated myself to my religious view and exploration of new teachings
7. Discovered a new hobby and successfully learned new ones as well
8. Been blessed by god with positive, friendly, thoughtful and respectful acquaintances in aspect of personal, relative and work life
9. Learn the hardest lesson of all; accepting fact, finding solution and to stand up strong again while learning from mistakes - Binge this is for you!
10. Visited Korea with my loved ones

The list should continue but I think it would be bragging. Thus what lies for me in year 2011? Well, I have to say according to many horoscopes and "premonition claims", it would be a difficult year for me. I hereby say, bring it on. Challenges and the worse are yet to come ... so be it. I will learn to survive, hopefully with the support of my loved ones who walk the talk and been there for both my laughter and tears. You guys are the greatness I achieved. To be accurate, success will be better. lol

Well ... time to go feed my skin with vitamin e.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Xmas 2010

Wishing all my friends, acquaintances and readers ... a Merry Christmas

Saturday, December 18, 2010

BBQ Xmas party 2010

I had lots of fun just a few hours back. Chilling with my VUMBA mates is always very funny and relax. Although at many times I have to hide my sexuality, somehow I enjoy myself very much in their company. Perhaps it is the idea that you get a fair bit mix of everything; male singles, female singles, married couples, soon to be married couples, just started couples, long term couples and to top it up, most of them know how to have fun! I strongly believe even due to our differences, we are all friends to keep

I wanted to blog about something more on a serious tone today, was thinking about the topic but when Masaki ran her car into mine. I had a total blackout and when the shock passed, so did the topic I wanted to blog about.

So here I am, putting up a picture of me pretending to be a reindeer.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Merry Xmas ... countdown

This song got me bouncing ...

I am having my law exam tomorrow and somehow I can't help but feel perky and all jumpy thanks to Mariah Carey's Oh Santa. Maybe it is true that I was really a black woman in my past life.

Anyway, I better update my wishlist since yesterday the babes have officiated our gift exchange ceremony. Don't wanna get duplicates. On the other hand, it will be a great challenge for me to shop for Xmas stuff. Although I dread the festive celebration, my friends are determined to make it a thoughtful one. So the celebration probably start tomorrow and will last to (going through his calender), 16th Jan!

*hearing Mariah's infamous squeal*

Time to go back to study, but before that ... need to slash the list. *Blink and hint to the babes

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

My CIMB atm freak out

After the ATM failure to withdraw my cash and without a receipt, I really thought that tomorrow will be hell for me to convince the bank that I want my money back. Being in Pyramid around 10pm wasn't really gonna help as the banks are closed. Financial inconveniences are the worst!!!


So to speak, the customer service report and advise was to direct me to the nearest bank to lodge a report as early as 915am and probably sit to wait for the security investigation. I will have to be early to avoid both the crowd in the bank and the ATM lodge from gunnysacking from morning transactions.

Back home at last, I was preparing my mental note and defense tactics for tomorrow at the same time multitasking to check my balance online. I was login in the website to check the balance and my mind is ticking. Last I knew, the balance was deducted from a quick check from the opposite ATM. I was furious, worried and dread the day when the final amount total on the website showed at my computer screen after 2 hours of the ordeal, I grin with satisfaction. CIMB have credited my account. Indeed a technical issue.

All is well now. Smile. I have to say that CIMB service and performance is commendable!

How come we don't get efficient service like this elsewhere?

Monday, December 13, 2010

Korea 2010

Some may have seen the pics from facebook. Anyway, here is my contribution. I really have too many pictures, close to 400 plus and perhaps a little more if I didnt lose Binge. Here are some of the selected pics from my nikon ... that said, the moment lives on in memory! That is the beauty of traveling to an awesome place with your loved ones.

Enjoy ~

Arriving in a small town, Incheon Airport is quite a distant away from Seoul

Go Korea during winter, of course must do this ... Ski! Or at least play snowball war ... or to my parents, have hot coffee and enjoy the snow mountain and watch their children scream, yell, fall and cheer when they successfully ski from top to the bottom ...

You can even ski at night! Nice rite? But too tired and too cold!

So we went picture taking around the surrounding

The hotel also has a cafe where they shot Winter Sonata ... romantic la konon!

Then, next day we went to Dragon Peak where they are building a new 15degree 6km slide from the mountain top to the bottom. It takes about 10minutes ... planning to launch it probably only next winter, but the top is splendidly beautiful ... and freezing chilly (-6 degree I heard!)

Have to take cable car up!

And of course we went to Nami Island, where they shot romantic scene of Winter Sonata!

You probably know the famous shot below ... ! Betul cantik gila ... We played throwing autumn leaves too ... but I do not want to post a picture of me laughing like a kid playing with my Grandma throwing leaves onto me ... So go figure yourself :P

And we went to ... no introduction needed as the pic says it all ...

Not real ones, but real sizes ones!

Hey look! its mum ... Really? I must not dig my nose then ~

Went to fishing village near Mount Sorak, mum shopped for seaweed (the real wet kind ones!) and we dine ... grilled squid stuffed with fried rice ~ MOST YUMMY FRIED RICE I had EVER! probably also because its winter ...

and of course the Mount Sorak (or is it Sora?) park, where we learned about Buddhism, enjoy the culture historical walk and talk about Korean war. Not to mentioned, busy taking pictures too

Our group photo also taken here since there are heaps of place!

Then we visited Everland~ Themepark develop by Samsung! They have this huge roller coaster ride that is as big as a mountain but it was closed due to the cold winters. We had lots of fun riding many other attractions (ie the zoo and all la ... !) lazy to explain.

The night scenery was magical and very beautiful. It made us very very happy!!!

But I am sure if K were around, he would allow me to buy this. Cos it looks cute on me! But my parents were very against it ... sob sob

Then we were off to Seoul. Boring place, but had lots of shopping and visiting done. Some of the summary as follow:

Culture house where we made kimchi for Charity and manage to dress up as crazy wacko ancient Korean family! Mum is so hillarious ~ even dad

The Palace where the Korean King stayed, created today's Korean writing whose entire family was executed when Japan invaded.

Seoul Parliament, or is it the President office. Something like that la~

We watched Nanta show ... it was so fun! hehe

PS - and 2 shopping places (nothing much to talk about except that I bought stuff :P) and also this culture road where we had only 1 hour to shop and no time for camera. Also bought stuff! haha

Odusan Observation Tower - where we get to see across North Korea. It is so safe la! Please ... anyway, we were about 500m away from the border and can see North Korea guard towers. Cross the Han river and you are dead~ ping pang! haha

Dad scouting for bombs

Of course, my most beloved picture:

And thats the end of it... at least for year 2010 ...

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Lawyer to be? Not ...

I have to say that it is so worth doing MBA, especially when it comes to Business Law. Although I do not get the usual dosage or dramatic storylines like CSI because we do not touch on Criminal Law, it is so interesting to have learn about the twirls and swirls of law, especially when it comes to business dealings.

I have to say that it is fairly important to know about what the law says, what it can do and what others can do to you. With just three chapters, Tort, Partnership and Company Law and all the variance with cases, precedent, legislature and also layman term, dos and don'ts - you fairly get the idea of how to defend yourselves legally against suit, possible risk of compensation or people seeking damages. It is pretty scary what people can and will do to you with that equipment of knowledge!!! Think consumer protection and compensation of insurance!

At least now I know the extend of how to legally bind and correction to protect myself. This involves going into promises for business or negotiations that may turn sour at the end. I find it so interesting that things that could be so wrong and can be right, or rightfully correct that can be miserably faulty at the end! It is really not that confusing really when you start flipping through pages of law books explaining the terms and clauses.

Well, I have been up since 10am writing law answers for cases, questions and test trials. Ever since then I have not stop reading, writing and listening to lecture on the law subjects. Even as soon as class ends at 8pm, I took only an hour break of dinner and since 9pm, I've been catching up on what I missed last week on partnership law. Since it's almost 1130pm and having law terminology behind my brains, I believe it is in reasonable standing that I retreat from this subject. Chubchub too had a nice chat with me on partnership and I believe he finds the subject intriguing.

I shall continue Company Law tomorrow and venture into director duties and its duly remedy if breach happens. Don't get me wrong, I am not a lawyer ... just the average guy who has interest in law

Thursday, December 9, 2010

How do I make the world see me rather than what I am

The manifestation of depression revolve around expectations. Some say that by learning to let go or building a defense mechanism walling from risk of hurt helps. I think it makes sense. Learning has become a process so important that it alters lifestyles and ones' hope. No one seem to care about the real idea, so willingly often voluntarily believing that the greater good is always out there.

Let there be contentment.

In today's vivid and multifaceted society, we deal with people and maskers in our daily life. Constant pretending and often regretting acts which we cast upon others. But yet we still persist to do it, casting the shadow of guilt, seeking to hurt and seek damages as much as possible. To terrify the other party until he runs into the dark forest, trembling and drench in tears. Yet we all still do it all over again.

How come at the other side of the river, where the most pretentious couple strives to be better and greater, we suffer? Often we ask the question. Is that what we seek? Perfection to fit into ideologies of love and together-hood that we must learn to love that only way and not accepting the other person?

I have told many, repetition that one should want to be with you and not just desperate to be in a relationship. So how will you know when it comes? Does the story unfold itself yet disappear from discovery as soon as one lands the kiss. Curses, immunity and blindness. Different scripts, different ending, different souls. And yet encouragement and determination to build this protective sphere still exist? If so, how do you then allow yourself to be vulnerable and protected?

I want the stop sign. I do not wish to grow into my 30s wishing that my maturity, achievement and lifestyle is more dominant than the rest, persisting that I did more than I had and the world agrees to me. I want to be vulnerable, to be able to feel that I have hurt and been hurt. I want to feel that I can continuously do more and grow herein and hereafter. I seek the journey of suffering in twos rather than sulking in lone.

The balance I seek, does it still exist?

So often I wonder if the idea is to set boundaries then I will never be that way. Am I walking down that path? I certainly hope not ... and certainly hope my other half is not and will not and never will too ...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Hello again

and so a week passed by in Korea. I am back, safely ... and to be honest, it was really an awesome great trip! I bet most of you think that I would be blogging about it, but looking at my work inbox and the list of stuff to do ... I probably will not be able to write it in these few days. With law exam coming up and a whole lots of personal issue coming up ... life is back on being stressful and all. I just can't wait for August to come! That's about it