Transparency

I am worst than a slut. Yes, that was the reason I why I broke off. The main killer of PLU relationship ... a good example, me. Please learn from me!

No matter what are my reasons of my doing, they are only excuses. I am transparent now, I don't care how people look at me or see me. I am me, a cleaner and smarter me ... believe it or not ... somethings cannot be change, but people can grow and the older you are, the wiser your decision making will be.

I accept the fact I have been a disgrace, dirty and manipulative person. Someone who preaches the wrong doing and someone who lies to cover my own weakness. I accept the fact that I was insecure with myself and was in denial. I didn't want to be lonely thinking that everything I did can be hidden forever ... I guess sometimes, you need to be lonely to grow.

But I am glad I came out that way. Everything happened for a reason. I am going to brace it myself, accept the coming and learn to grow up. I am weak, amputated and feeling uncertainty every moment. The hardship and suffering will come. But I will not give up. My little voice will help ...

For who I want to be and be with, I believe I can do it

It feels good to be transparent and to my dear friends, thank you for not judging me. I promise you guys that I will be better ... smarter ... and cleaner ...

Lesson to learn : Change for the better of yourself, be selfish. Admit your fault and move on strong.



AK14UKT

7th day

A week. It felt long ... but it was worth it.

Happy autumn and mooncake festival everyone!!!

Next please

So, what's next?

Growing up ... only one thing have to change. I guess the rest will pretty much remain. Afterall, I am still me and knowing me ... sigh! Sorry dearest friends - you've gotta support me through this even if I am doing something silly. What to do? I just wanna be content and happy. Thanks for the ears, shoulders, hands, arms, legs and mouth.

Don't Cry

Today, someone ask me ... why is the weather like that? That is how i feel at the moment. He replied, things will be fine. It's been rough. It's been really rough...

A huge part of me is lost, taken away and I deserve it. It's a feeling that only tears can express. I felt cheated by own. I brought myself to the next level to have get the courage to look into his eyes and believe that he made the right choice. It was hard. It wasn't something I want to do, or need to do but I have to do it. It was only fair and within time perhaps ... he will heal ... move on and ... find a better. I will grow but he will too. For better or worse, let time tell.

Some feelings would never change. It's a name and birthmark that lives with you forever. I am that kinda person. I will always fight for something I believe worth fighting for. But often, its not always you. Sometimes the best thing to do is cruelly hurt yourself to move on.

I am listening to the same melodic tune, season of fireworks. The same song I played 5 years ago when I left that special someone. Today, history repeats. Same mood, same song but different person. I suppose no one will every understand why I drown myself in sad songs. I suppose the imperfection in life makes you treasure the perfection in it.

Well ... I guess Fergie's right. Big girls don't cry....

Hairy Issue

I am losing hair. Unfortunately it is not my body hair. I am not too sure of the reasons, but the amount is enough to raise the alarm.

Grad pictures

Here are the pictures for my grad. Then, it will be back to normal post. Hopefully soon. Happy Puasa to all my muslim friends, readers, anti-fans and stalkers out there!


It was held at the E&O Hotel at Penang


Mum and Grandma, the most happiest person


I like this picture ... dunno why


Talking to Sally Walker, Professor and Vice-Chancellor of Deakin Uni


Famile Portrait ...


Thank you Kenny for taking the pictures!

Langkawi 2007 - Part II

As promised, here is part two. Apologize for the delayed post, busy busy. Anyway, I will let the pictures do the talking on this post. It wasn't that bad except the part where it rained when we were island hoping. The rest is still the same; dreadful car ride without air cond, spending more time traveling out of hotel than traveling around ... yada yada

We started of with Dayang Bunting Lake, at Dayang Bunting Island!!! ~


Awana Port Malai Ali ... where the journey begins ...


As we climbed in, we could felt droplets ... it was raining


Ariel was excited about the boat ride. She didn't quite care about the weather


The rain hit us during the journey there ...


A picture of Dayang Bunting ... the pregnant maiden ... not bad ... the mountain actually looks like that ...


We arrived! Now time to hike ...


It was still raining ...


We got our foot massage from fishes in the lake. Kinda fun but we can't do anything else cos it was still raining.


We saw monkeys everywhere, usual sight ... but one with a Cadbury waffle was rare. Pity the poor boy who lost his snack to this monkey


This rascal even had nasi lemak!


The rain subsided and the view was much better ...


Me!


- EAGLE FEEDING - PULAU SINGA BESAR


We stopped in the middle of the sea near Pulau Singa Besar to see flocks of eagle diving into the water, feeding on chicken skin which the locals feed them everyday ... not sure if that is right but the some of the eagles came from a conversation center, some are from the nature and some are pets!


According to the locals, Langkawi was named after Helang (eagle) and Kawi (a type or rock, marble I suppose)


There is two species of eagles; the white one (this pic) which is bigger in size, more graceful in flight and shy, while the brown ones (the one you see in Kuah's Jetty) is smaller in size, more temperamental and wild.


I did not photoshop this! haha ... Trust me, it's difficult to capture images of animals in motion!

- PANTAI BERAS BASAH -


The reason why they called it Pantai Beras Basah (Wet Rice Beach) was because of the sand that has the color of the grain and is always wet ... even up to high dry areas. Weird ...


People everywhere ... Can't get a nice quiet beach picture


Ariel wanted me to try that ... erm ... not in front of my parents


Didn't brought any swimwear ... that is the best they could do ...

-TANJUNG RHU -


Tanjung Rhu Resort. $400 per night for standard room ... quite expensive, but I am sure it is worth the stay


Ariel ... posing


Mum and Dad was walking around, scouting for a place to sit


Stunning! The view was magnificent


Was trying an artistic shot ... did it work?


Looks like a scene from one of those of scary movie ... haha


Beautiful Sunset ... Tanjung Rhu


After that, we had our last night and travel to Penang for my graduation the following morning. Next to come; graduation pictures ... shot by Kenny!

Langkawi 2007 - Part I

I didn’t enjoy the trip. It was mainly because I did not get what I want from the trip. Overall the vacation was quite stressful, tiresome and I fell sick. Totally the opposite from what you are suppose to get from a vacation.

Anyway, the journey to north began soon after I finished work last Monday. It was a bright morning and I couldn’t sleep in the car. Moreover, my mum was chatting with grandma and I don’t have the heart to stop them. With my tired eyes, fatigue and a mild fever coming up, we reached Kuala Kedah Jetty about 3pm. As soon as we boarded off the car, I started feeling much better and took out my camera

Pak Teh Enterprise - Very interesting business name for a small town

The boat ride to Langkawi was hell! The sea was rough and the ferry aks speedboat was no where near comfort. It was like a roller coaster ride, up down right left everywhere. The first 10 minutes was fun but after that, everyone started to quiet down. The ride lasted an hour. As soon as we got off, passengers started vomiting, some cried (kids of course) and some cursed away (I was one of them). Angela and Ariel was in such a faulty mood, they didn’t even say a single word after that. Mum was dizzy and grandma – speechless.



The Journey begins ...



The Ferry we took - RM18 for a whole lots of headache

For your information, I manage to get some advice from a local. She said that its advisable to travel before noon time to prevent sea sick and rough rides. Alternatively, you can travel further to Kuala Perlis Jetty by land (about 30-45 min) and take a Ferry from there where the route is smoother and shorter by sea ride.

Kuah Jetty lated and situated next to the airport. The room rates were very cheap. We got 2 family rooms, each with 2 queen size bed and paid RM 888 for 3 nights.

Nice bed. Not too bad.

For the price, we got pretty bad housekeeping (no missing items) but we have to constantly ask for our toilet rolls, towels, door mats and also whatever that is missing in the room. As we stroll down the beach, it was shocking to see a pipe line and bridge across the sea. The resort was near an industrial factory and although there were no noises, the view was destroyed. Worse, the resort is located next to Damai Resort, deserted, and haunted.

If you look closely, the black line is the pipe, on top of it is the bridge

The good thing ever happened that day was of course the bath tub, which was huge and duty free shopping. Chocolates and Liquors are so cheap! SO SO CHEAP! A one liter JackDaniel Whisky is only rm55 and Hershey chocolates are going for RM10 for 5! Even dinner was cheap. My entire family had a meal for RM75 in the Kuah. Of course, Langkawi’s city center, Kuah is only about 5-street wide. According to Mum, it was Mahsuri's doing - the curse where Langkawi will not be developed for 7 generations and a whole long story. Kinda funny I thought. As we all call it for the night, my throat began to ache.

The thing that saved my trip

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As day two arrived, the first thing we did was to exchange our rented car. Dad’s seat belt is not working and the car has no validation license. JPJ was busy summoning drivers and of course, the companies which rented out the cars. Piece of advice, there will be a lot of human vultures scavenging for business even before you arrive at Langkawi. Learn to say NO, even if they were representing Tourism Malaysia! Hotel’s recommendations are usually more expensive but I believe a marginal RM20 will save you a lot of time and give you a piece of mind. Also, try to get a Waja or Wira – their air conds work wonders. As soon as we exchange our Wira for a Kia, the air cond broke down. You don’t want that in Langkawi because it’s striking sunny and burning hot. If you have to travel at least 20 min every time you leave your accommodation to get somewhere with human or for food (like mine), you will curse your way.

Renting the car - RM80 for Wira, a day without petrol. Not very cheap.

Second day; we visited Makam Mahsuri, Kuah Town, Jetty Area, Port near to Berjaya Resort and Langkawi Geo Park.

Unfortunately, no pictures are allowed at Makam Mahsuri (grandma disallow) except for this bird.

Makam Mahsuri was not that bad. Historical place. Took a long time to translate everything for Ariel. She look confused at the end with all the names and artifacts in the museum. I wanted to go into one of the wooden house but ever-superstitious grandma stopped me. Ghost. She even disallow me to take pictures; unless it's trees or birds.

As evening approach, we went to one of the private port near Berjaya Resort. The view was magnificent during sunset. It's located north west of the island and took about 30minutes drive from Langkasuka. I wish I had a private boat. BTW, the Geo Park, more well known as Langkawi Cable Car and the Telaga Tujuh is also situated near there. Kinda a tourist area. Did I took the Cable Car? No ... Why? Cos it looks so scary. The Cable car goes across two mountain peaks. No way I am taking it.

One of the ports near berjaya

Beautiful ~ One of the resort next to the port

As usual, dad hardly smiles

(l - r) Mum, Ariel, Grandma, Angela, and Me. Dad is photographer

More pictures to come in part II

Langkawi ...

... here I come! Can't believe it is August already. The last time it was August, I was back in Australia - enjoying spring. Sigh, time flies. Since I was back in Malaysia, I reckon life has not been really that bad. Work was not bad, could be better.

Anyway, I will be away on vacation with my family in Langkawi, far north for four days. Then, while driving back south, we will stop by at Penang for my graduation! Finally ... the ceremony is here! I am all packed and ready to go. I wonder will Vynn have enough time to meet me up.

Thanks Anthony for temaning me on Sunday! Lastly, I would like to thank all my friends for my blated birthday gifts; the three design books from PageOne Kinokuniya and chipping in for my future camera gadget. Hugs, Love ya'all.


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Merdeka Ad

Is it me, or the Merdeka Ads are late?

It's almost 31st and I have not even seen a single Merdeka Ad on TV!
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Maybe the advertisements got banned ...